Dead Leaves Fall Timelessly

It has been a dead month.
Just based on the lack of posts
you can tell I'm creatively frustrated
Because I get no time to express myself
emotions or anything I'm going through
But because of the lack of time management
I don't seem to have time for anything
It's kind of crummy really,
forget about any "me" time
Everyone needs me time!
It's nicknamed keep-sane time*
to adjust my feelings or auras
Instead it's
It's this that this.. Oops something popped up
So tomorrow, Friday.
I shall google-write-plan
time management
the process, the execution, the life*
Cause simply writing down what's due and
what's when in my planner
doesnt seem to time manage a thing.

50 Tyson

Maybe I'm the last person to know about him but ...
I want to find a man like him
One day.

The Silent Music

There is this silent music
that plays in my ears
Oblivious to the fact that no one cares
I dance
I jump
I wish I could see
The sweet songs melodies

I'm punished for not subsiding
and ignoring it like everyone else
but music is music right?
Shouldn't I adhere?
I don't know what the people want or
how to dish it
but the silent music plays in my ears
gathering my courage and
moving my limbs for me
swaying side to side

My pride
only hides
as the 3 minutes prepare an audience
to judge me

My mind wonders off down the yellow brick road
and the silent music carries me like a baby
and a bottle
my willingness sold

Back to my spaceship
where the silent music plays me into my sleep

Oh Molly Me!


Gucci Time

I was scrolling down my blog listening to "Gucci Time" (on BET 106 n Park, where else?) which has
a rather catchy tune and realized I have it all.
No, not in a I'm perfect, "I have it all!" demonic Cruela Devil voice*
but on my blog I have a little of everything,
All of this yet I feel like my whole personality isn't plastered on my blog as it could be
it isn't...
I guess because twitter gets my quick thoughts and thats what I am made up of quick thoughts
and deliberating dilemmas.
But a part of me wants my blog PERFECT.
So that when the right person scrolls down and sees that little bit of everything,
they catch a lasting whiff of me.
Something that tingles their senses and makes them say
"Hmm rara avis." <  Eh, Something like that.
Cause really, I've been living
but I think it's time for me to be discovered for something..
for aannyyything that I do
nik_gold time?
I'll be growing, improving, learning until then.


The "Struggle"

Not only was I casted in my FIRST movie called, "Struggle" and no matter how small a movie it encourages me to expand my wings and test my limits, but this week has been a constant struggle.
In between my lack of attention, remorseful load of homework they decided to disperse in college and the lack of financial funds I've been living with, I used the word struggle as my word of the week.
Getting out of bed was a struggle... but lets me real... is that new?
What has been shockingly new however are low funds, compared to the workaholic reflected checking account I had earlier this summer, my savings have surely dwindled down.
From food, to necessities to unexpected dilemnas, the zeros surrounding my money escaped and ventured off elsewhere.
My search for a job was successful, not.
Hearing the same, "We will get back to you."
"We are not hiring but expecting applications."
I felt like I was on the same financial rollercoaster as this summer before Chili's and I despised it.
My resume was right, schedule tight but the money situation was certainly not right.
I sighed, I got sadder easily when I couldn't by food out, because quite frankly food makes me happy and continued my lowly struggle not only this week but this whole month.
I let no one know however because quite frankly, no one but my mom could help.
I'm not rich but I usually have money in my pocket, a little something, something
and to tell the truth I can't even remember how I got money in my pocket before I had my job.
Now I am really appreciative of what Chili's did for me... financially that is.

A miracle happened and God bestowed upon me a blessing in disguise, my accident earlier this summer,
only to settle and to be given the power to lighten my moms crazy load and fill
up my gas tank all the way for the first time this semester.
I went to the school's library and straight-studied, organizing my mind, schedule and my
workload to better suite me and my needs
but before I run free-happily, I must realize that in order to do better, I need
to get myself financially straight to keep an income like this coming in.
Before the weight of so much was lifted just a little...
I struggled.


Heard You Got That Sticky -_-

Easily taken as a bad chemistry project.
But for me it tests my patience and how to perform under pressure
The back of my head ticking like a bomb
Legs quivering.
All these songs about the same thing doesn't help
Nor soothe the pain.
To be quite honest who I surround myself with really does help my...
Wiser and faster like a bunny rabbit in a hole.
I will not be trapped under this spell.
And if you haven't caught on 
Wipe the grease off your hands.


Music I Love!

Wiz K: Chewy

Florence + The Machines : Dog Days Are Over

Maroon 5:  Misery

Enjoy =]


We have seen this look rocked in SIC2
and sad to say may have been afraid to try it
But when this hair is not done-did or
if I find that right turban to set it off!

I shall be called nik_gold from another land!

Turban Wear.

CAUTION: If you attempt to pull this off, do NOT come out looking like Sojourner Truth..
I will Twitpic you! @nik_gold

Blown Out the Water

Was not expecting another pastor done wrong story for another year or so.
On top of this, I know this guy..
He was there for my graduation ceremonies (held at his huge cathedral) and I attended his church once or twice while I was back in Georgia.
I don't know how to feel quite frankly about this situation.
I called my mom about this because it could be a lot of things coming to the surface.
We all know the media looks for any reason to tear a wealthy, powerful black man down at the FIRST chance.
However, I'm not saying this is what is happening...
Like I said before...
I was not expecting this one.

My Husbands in here somewhere.... Hmmmm!

Brown Black and Educated
I want some BBE!


Fashion Fall 007

Kim K and the clan are popular enough on Blogs but these updos are a good look for relaxed and natural styles, definetely something viewers and fellow fashionistas should put their own twist on this fall! BTW I love the Kardashian show but I can't seem to become an addict this season... I wonder why. =/
Solange Knowles is easily becoming own of my favorite fashion forward celebrities on the scene. Not only has she dubbed herself out under Beyonces' younger sister role and have been doing her own thing but she actually gained a couple minutes more of fame because of her vibrance, great fashion/stylist combos and versatility when it comes to fashion.
Keep it up!
If you don't know.... You know now, Chris Brown is back on the scene, proving you cannot hold back true talent. I am not a groupie Chris Brown fan but he seems to emulate Kanye West when it comes to trying something new when he is not on his leather man jacket and cargo appeal.
I <3!!!

Love me or Hate me


I seem to have energy for one more...

Aside for the haters, which everyone should have...
If you're doing your thing..
There are the people who pretend they are you're friend and
then seem to critique, harshly...
"Oh you too fancy for me" -Since when?
And these 3rd parties,
Too say the least I'm tired of it all

Had to go home to ATL
to recuperate and determine the person I was going to be
To be frankly honest I was going to be that "I-Don't_Give_A_Fux_B_tch"
On campus
It takes a whole lot more energy to be negative than positive
To be anti 
than social
Aside from that nagging energy deficient part 

I thought...
Thats not going to make ME happy and lets be real...
In our head...

Who are we pleasing???
I'm sleepy, I'm tired I'm all that
I've been lacking on my iron pills and all that.
these days I don't know the difference because I'm always tired....
Always hungry.
I'm not pregnant or nothing (nothing close)
and this is neither a good excuse for leaving my blog vacant for the past couple
of news worthy days
I just feel like something is lackluster
Aside for the energy.
It's the apperance..
The meaning to everything
The groove, the soul, the depth
minus the energy, nothing means everything
And I have no energy to explain it all...

I've been TIRED.