Prosper

I went off the edge for the past couple days, I don't know why or when or how but I did.
But now I'm back together and all whole and all that mushy stuff. (I promise) lol
You see the brightest light after the storm, they say and in this situation its so very true.
I prayed, meditated and thought deep about who I was, and want to be.
You also find out who your true friends are in these crazy situations, who your enemies are and who truly does care for you...

No matter how dumb they are.
I hate hurting the people around me, though at one point in time I thought in a way most of it was superficial caring.
I see that light waaaayyyy clearer.
Well I also earned money on my fallout LMBO
It only made me determined to make money in general,
The after affects made me realize how beautiful I AM
and now I feel invincible...

Not sure if that's a good thing. -_-

But most importantly, I value my life and the reproductive investment my mother put into me.
Culturing the fact that I have to become famous and weathly to balance out the highs and lows in my family's lifetime.
It feels like something is just waiting to pop out and I'm not saying that I know the direction to fly in but I believe I'm waiting on a sign.

See thats that invincible stuff* right there.
LOL =]
But all in all Im happier, feel freeier and have more confidence, a confidence I should have had not only for myself but that things I invest my time and effort into, my work and the people who care about me around me.


live_gold

Micros

Im dying out here!

So I watching Paris' show Its Paris, Not France and I was actually going to cry during this show because my mom is leaning towards Claflin U because they gave me another scholarship ... (why can't she work that magic over at Howard???)

Well anyways I was scared of losin gmy friends but then was like (wah??) friends would mind if they havent talked to you in a couple weeks or if you deleted your myspace, facebook and only twittered once a week.

I finally got inkie winkie on the phone and felt much better. Im blessed. People can be so happy when they have nothing (well not so much have nothing to lose) but more of a have nothing left type situation.

Relating back to Paris.. she was talking about the sex tape and how it affected her greatly because she wasnt 19 like they thought she was.. in fact she was around 16ish...


wtf????
and how she cried calling the boy begging him to not put the sex tape out there. But he was like eff it money is money...

andddd how her friends knew he was getting that close because he knew she was going to be famous one day and apparently wanted something of a leverage base.

what a bitch.

well she has the same procrastinations most of us have.. friends, what they think about me and money. Not much concern in the money department but friends and what they think about me are definetly highlighted to a microscopic level..


But newho Im out and about, taking out my micros but now about to hit the road and pick up mom from work, tomorrow i believe will be glorious. =) Only if I add this downtown thing with my riders lmbooooo

ohh lord so my plan is to be very grateful and appreciative of what I have.. and smile. Why the heck not???

8am.

i cooked breakfast for my mom this morning. Could she not tell something was wrong? Or am i becoming a better actress? I didnt even put some food on the side for myself. (not hungry these past couple of days) O wells. I should be over this loving-affection giving syndrome in the next 2-3 days.

my fridge is packed these days, no room for extras!




school starts in 6 days.