It's a Done Deal

So I know tomorrow won't solve a damn thing.
Im hanging on to the epiphany that maybe something great will happen
Like God will hand deliver me a map and
From there I can see the stars, planets and the moons.
See what's new and which ones to wish on
So that someday my dream will come true.
Im not talking about another love story
The story love dooomed key
The sad all-I-need-love-to-find-my-way-in-life
My purpose
Im talking about that forever destiny drift
The one in which you find out the laws of nature and if you are god's one and only true gift
And in you I mean man the heavenly sinful thing
The take one look back and you turn into a grain of sand?
That goodness the stuff you feel down in your soul
Feeling lonely but never alone
You wiping your tears away, stating your life lessons on facebook and twitter so that someone can "like" or "repost"
But no one can repost your life
Your need of life
Nor your feed on life not even the dying sun
Bearing itself down to you so that you can see the light
In all it's glory and its last true fight

Heavy anticipation dims down at me cause I know

Tomorrow won't change a damned thing
Seeing you and all the guilt you bring
Weighing my heart down more than it ever has
For the guilt I already had for being born a love child.
No this ain't the "I hate my daddy" poem or the " I was raped but now Im better" storm
This shit right here... this shit right here??!!
Has no category, sits on its on territory
Drifting gently from sea to sea
Terrorizing me
Whimsically not giving a FU**
The life of misery unsolved because I know

Tomorrow won't chnage a damn thing.
I blink and I blink thinking something will change.
hours pass but my life still remains the same
Yelling yellow yearnings of despair for me to change for someone else to care
Because I left a long time ago
Shadowing centuries ago
Formed into dust because what I must be I cannot discuss
Evolutionary
Something scary for me to think outside the little blue box
Sly as a fox but never willing to hop off the soap box and discuss minor mistakes misread
Unlike the beloved dead
I bring forth failure, goal making and half fulfilled promises
I leave behind merry memories, happy beginnings and wondering endings.
I brand things only to be en-lighted that nothing belongs to me only the maker above.
Then my eyes open really wide
The crust and disgust, mucus and deliverance and I focus
and spit.
I know

Tomorrow won't change a damn thing
If it didn't change today when I had all the time in the world
But instead wanted to disguise myself like a small boy or girl
I went to eat all the ice-cream in the world but at the thought pulled to the side and hurled.
Went to climb the highest mountain but instead returned the hiking boots
Insecurities will never deliver me and procrastination makes me the person I strive not to me.
Then I stop and think and ACTUALLY execute the next move...solved?


MATCH

i left my emotions in Gerogia

-ouch? feelings are for wimps ive always wanted to say that but not feel it always falling in traps not setting it not saying ive been an emotional reck with boys.. umm no thats why i dont do serious relationships but in peoples relations to me in general not trying to make more friends not caring its been heavy since i came to new york for the summer especially since mom didnt think about postponing my trip until people actually get out of school. see but im okie with that cause i dont care- kinda just nervous trying to fit everyone in my schedule (no lie) physically saying be here or ill be there etc. hurts.. my head so advil is my friend these days maybe thats why my emotions are being clouded by my medicated states. idk one way or another i realized i know even less than the less i know so im just sittin on sand waiting for a drop of rain smh kk my tiger striped nails (that i myself created) are irratating the hell out of me tapping against the keyboard and my half dressed picture on myspace got me more private mundane messages that are along the line "waddup sexci" smh than actual comments so im off the computer and hopefully a nap before dad over here tells me to wash more dishes or (animated) sis comes home and borrows more of my clothes she cant fit and jewelry i wont see again damnn. really left my emotions there huh?? -HEAVYGETAWAY

and yesterday was nice even though i know it wont happen again

lol especially with me leaving again but thats not that bad is it?

back to l.i to do absolutely nothing but hibernate and then georgia...GEORGIA.

nope, rings no bells.