coffeeCAKES

MAYBE IF_

if i was a little lighter id get more comments?
more attention?
breaks?

if i was scandalous id have more views?
friends?
events to go to?

if i was richer, id have more clothes?
things to do throughout the day?
no limits?



ha ha

This would change who i was inside out.. Right?
Is it really better to be lighter a reflection of man's want for a lighter (whiter) woman or the way you are and a unique one at that.

To be listened to and respected for your words, wisdom and thoughts.. however modern they are. For people to say,"Who is that girl??" and mean it for my inward-to-outward demeanor instead of an outward appearance that can easily diminish...

To be on the edge of right, slip up and be slipped into the wrong hands like a bad drug. Influence those in a wrong full manner, to be taken out of a good place in life because noone can handle you, not even yourself. Patience and an antidote is needed but noone is there to feed it..
For more money to attract the wrong things and bring the wrong crowds, by the time i blink my money is gone, along with family, friends, my relationship with God and my future,,,

I'm made this way for a reason I believe, but maybe the reason I have no idea what it is is to be blinded and make waves where waves are needed instead of going straight there and when the job is done so is my existence here...

(i hope im making sense to someone other than myself)

My life is so...
precious
different
stable
authentic
paced
and ready for me to live every second of it.

So here i am.
Upgrade my well-being.