Blown Out the Water

Was not expecting another pastor done wrong story for another year or so.

On top of this, I know this guy..

Ha! 

He was there for my graduation ceremonies (held at his huge cathedral) and I attended his church once or twice while I was back in Georgia.

I don't know how to feel quite frankly about this situation.

I called my mom about this because it could be a lot of things coming to the surface.

We all know the media looks for any reason to tear a wealthy, powerful black man down at the FIRST chance.

However, I'm not saying this is what is happening...

Like I said before...

I was not expecting this one.

Fast March Madness

The month of my 17th birthday has been a real roller coaster in the first couple of hours.

Turning 17 I will be drama free and relaxed but why wait I'm in a transition now for what i have yet to figure out but it involves being 100% honest with everyone no matter how raw.
Maybe rawness for mother deareast but everyone else can get.

Mommy asked, well its not her first time asking but she asked today for the 9589 billionth time why in every relationship I get in the person confesses his love for me. Not true in the summer case but in general its usually positive news on my side. She convinced herself I was my father's child and people are just naturally attracted to me and a part of me may believe it but I looked around for a more solid answer...
Then I stumbled across this...




"Marriage Magnet Reveals Her Basically Unhelpful Secret
Dating & LoveOdd NewsFeb 20th 2009
By Emerald Catron

Hey lonely hearts, looking for love in all the wrong places? One woman has been proposed to NINE freaking times, and she's finally figured out what the secret is.

British author Adele Parks, now 40, had already been proposed to seven times by the time she was 23, starting with a 17-year-old boyfriend at a roadside cafe. Her trick was easy enough -- she just wasn't herself.

It turns out that by acting however the guy you're with wants you to, and presenting yourself as something you're not, is a great way to get proposals!

Winning Over Mr. Wrong
Of course, like Adele, you probably wouldn't want to accept those misguided marriage offers, so maybe they shouldn't really count.

Writes Parks, "My fault was that I gave each boyfriend the part of me I knew they'd find palatable, but never the whole package. I should have had the confidence to present myself wholly, truthfully, faults and all. Instead, I was living like a trainee Stepford Wife.""




No I have never been proposed too not even once. But part of this ladies statement is true for me. EITHER I have a very adaptive personality which can be very true because Im also 100% comfortable with who I am in relationships. Well 90% in these last few.

OR

Im just like her, I self conciously pick a part of me that they are prone to and mold myself around it for the next several months.

This could be the answer to why I always change every couple of months (apperance small stuff) Or it could be that Im still just changing and growing. Like my eco teacher Mr. Jeffrey says there are no black and white areas just grey ones.




IMPORTANT
Im also fasting.
This includes
myspace
facebook
candy
soda junk
and anything else I feel is unworthy.

It funny because I used to look at people who fasted and was like wah?? I guess i JUST NEVER took it as serious as I should have. Focusing on the wrong things. Like my sister said this morning which really calmed me down, take 10 secinds regroup and refocus.
Im reading a random scripture from my bible every morning and writing in my new flower book and doing these online blogs on how Im doing.
I think my mom would be proud of my ambitions but I plan to show here through actions instead of talk.



Movingonnnnnn.

range 2006

OR
range 2003


I know there is a crazy difference in price as in year but Georgia is known for selling cars to any Dick, Sue, Mary or Harry.
My plan is to get a good job (one I can continue through college)
and small loan along with the money daddy should have paid me all these years and maybe even a little of my bond money. I dont want to be in too much debt but I already will because of college.


COLLEGE....

well this is a totally different story. Every weekend and spare time i have goes to college applications, scholarships, fafsa SOMETHING to do with my future and Im not mad at it my future looks bright but can they make applications a little easier. Like colleges on the same level once you send one application out to one it goes to the rest?? And scholarships that are a given with the school or associate themselves with the school email you. There is so much to do!! Im not even finished at least one out of two schools still NEED something from me. Im really just wanting a acceptance letter and a pedi-mani for my bday. I believe I deserve it.

I have no idea birthdays have really never been a real big thing for me but every bday I get my hopes up that something BIG and wonderful will happen ... and well. It hasnt. Though Henry's jesters were nice they dont count when I have no affection back.
The couple I love the most at Stephenson my bomb high school has to be beast Cassandra and Rob. Sandra and I had class together and she asked me almost everyday where my clothes came from. Yes, that can really make you love someone why not? When they think like you? Anywho their affection is sweet, civil and modest yet its clear they are special to each other, already with kodaks and just seem to click easily.
Yes this is Nicole rambling having no idea yet again where she is going with this...
=X

I shall be a little prayer warrior these next few days, but I can't do it alone. Pray for me.
Too finish it off here are some pics of the fake Georgia snow storm we experienced today...






delicious curry and rush hour movie! yum!


live_gold