Showing posts with label living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label living. Show all posts

26.10.10

This may not be the sweetest post to anyways tongue.

But it quite frankly needs to be put out of my system, my aura, my space.
It's ruining my mood and my developing outlook on the world.

I was "Chilling" yesterday.
Normal day in Orangeburg,
Dreary, depressing and redundant.
But I make the best... sometimes, by chilling.
Chilling which could be a number of things but right now I'm not getting specific 
cause chilling was never the problem.

However the person I choose to chill with yesterday stirred a lot up in me.
I am not one to shy away from arguments especially
when I am heavily connected to the topic, but chill buddy yesterday crossed, drew and ran right threw the line.

Things I hold close to me are what anyone else would hold close to theirs.
Plus this here blog. 
Having it for some years, it is my buddy ol pal.
My closest buddy I can voice my opinions and know they will be heard.

What I post is real, authentic and at times embarrassing but 
it's my way to voice myself and I wouldnt change it for the world
 I don't keep an in depth journal and tis why I
don't get so personal on this here blog.
I mean this is still the internet.
Business EVERY WHICH WAY.

....

But I digress.
Chill buddy yesterday 
basically asked me being who I am, what I talked about on my blog.
That not being such a problem though, chill buddy has been in my life for more than a year,
knowing about my blog and visiting should have came hand in hand,
But however, I gave that one away.

Maybe he (yes he), is not the blog, computer or even internet type.
The closest he may get to the internet is the keyboard on his phone.
-_- maybe.
So I elaborated a little about what my blog was about...
Wasn't even finished my God damned sentence when..
YEAH
"Who are you, though? To right this stuff, like who is nik_gold? Am I a source to care?"
came slurring out of his mouth.
Now I know he may not be the only one to have that question, 
nik_gold?
blogger?
what's that?
But the way you undermine someone for their worth and
meaning limits them as a 
person, and what they could someday be...
Plus, blogging is freeeeeeeee, internet is unlimited and 
what I do with my site is everything and ANYTHING for me.
It's my Myspace reloaded, Facebook 7.0, TwitterPLUS,
It's my open end to a closed fist and anyone with a problem can just not read,
go read necole Bitchie or something and have a nice day.


Now I don't know who my readers surround themselves with but
someone who is willing to down something or someone before they fully understand
anything and you chill with them, and theyre arent giving you advice.
PUHLEASE
I think less of them than all the racist, timids, morbids, close minded, individuals in the world
especially since I was chilling with you in redundant, depressing Orangeburg trying to make the best of it.

Spit.

Your belief that one person can mean nothing makes YOU less than anything.



12.10.10

Old Honest Souls

Old souls are the best 
Not only are they experienced and very wise
But they are no nonsense.
Life is fun when you use your time wisely.
But what these old honest souls have figured out is that
there is no time to bs.
Grab hold to a old honest soul
They will take you around the world
And leave a smile on your face 
When its their time to leave





12.8.10

I tend to fancy guys who are way passed their "asshole" phase, smart enough to look halfway decent at least 1/2 of the time and don't have to say "See me Now" to have it all going on.
But ...it's always a nice reflective to see where you are in comparison to where you've been.
Listen to this...




11.8.10


                                    

                                    

                                  

So I've been a little crazy gong-ho these past couple of weeks, interning working, interning working, lounging, interning straight into work again.
It caught up with me.
Not only did I utterly pass out in one of my favorite store downtown Wish
but I was obliged to stay there until i felt better...
And retrieved a workers number while I was there.
For solely business purposes of course 
=]
But anyway, IDK why I passed I reply!
I eat when I'm hungry and trust me i have never had problems with my eating cycle.
My Wiz Khalifa run, however will have to die down soon if it is messing with my health...
hmmmmm.
But anyways, the one thing I know I have been lacking
as I spill my flaws onto my blog is..
(Drumroll here*)
WATER.
ugh 
puke
spit
gargle
puke again.
I despise water...
And I know I shouldn't its life rejuvenation, Blah, Blah, Blah
But if water was juice.... This blog wouldn't even be written.
I would not have had a crazy set of heat flashes, light headed, dizziness out of my body feeling, then passed out onto Wish's new clothes venue right next to the dressing room.
Ah!
Work
Life 
Water.
I guess thats how it goes.
-_-

Now Im drinking water and smh

"I was drinking earlier now I'm driving"




11.3.09

First Block Episode




I can honestly say this month has been.. well rather different. Actually having to be in it to experience how it is. Eleven points for eleven days of random fasting (meaning just forget the internet but Im eating what I shouldnt!!)
1. Not voted best dressed. ( But clearly am, smh at Stephenson and the lames that attend it. Im so on my college grind now!!)
2. Big Sister had some drama and is now relocated to ATL =)( She has always been the peace maker between my mom and I, she makes sense!)
3. Mom wants to be the dirty, old, raggidy, weird black vine spreading rumors and lies but now about her own kids. (Wow what great parenting skills you have my dear)
4. I only have friends and best friends, nothin more, (once again thanks mom)
5. Havent made any progress what so ever between all the drama, mom and trying to stay sane.
6. Couldnt even DANCE it off dance practice was canceled so I might just have some more stuff to do when I get home.. Like danceee! in the shower, closest outsideee =)
7. Realized I was very busy at one point with one person and I can do a WHOLE lot in the meantime.
8. I have rather senstive feelings though I wrap them in a razor blanket so everyone else can feel my wrath. (hehehe)
9. Im very well rounded and not falling off the edge, nor near it for that matter.
10. I havent begun to miss myspace or facebook like that but we can forget the fast food and junk food when your mom doesnt cook nor bring food home regularly.
11. You can only look out for your best interest, though people care and love you they might not know all you want and the path you would rather choose.

On other notes. Lily Allen miscarried. I dont know how I feel about it. I believe its horrible, but its also life and might help her writeeeeee and make better music =)


This week has been absolutely.... scenic.
Even the cloudy days were memorable.
I really have to pray about a lot also.
School My Future My Mom and Sister.
Where this path is leading me how I think of myself and where God plans to take me...

We shall see.
Updates soon...
Live _gold