Showing posts with label why. Show all posts
Showing posts with label why. Show all posts

26.10.10

This may not be the sweetest post to anyways tongue.

But it quite frankly needs to be put out of my system, my aura, my space.
It's ruining my mood and my developing outlook on the world.

I was "Chilling" yesterday.
Normal day in Orangeburg,
Dreary, depressing and redundant.
But I make the best... sometimes, by chilling.
Chilling which could be a number of things but right now I'm not getting specific 
cause chilling was never the problem.

However the person I choose to chill with yesterday stirred a lot up in me.
I am not one to shy away from arguments especially
when I am heavily connected to the topic, but chill buddy yesterday crossed, drew and ran right threw the line.

Things I hold close to me are what anyone else would hold close to theirs.
Plus this here blog. 
Having it for some years, it is my buddy ol pal.
My closest buddy I can voice my opinions and know they will be heard.

What I post is real, authentic and at times embarrassing but 
it's my way to voice myself and I wouldnt change it for the world
 I don't keep an in depth journal and tis why I
don't get so personal on this here blog.
I mean this is still the internet.
Business EVERY WHICH WAY.

....

But I digress.
Chill buddy yesterday 
basically asked me being who I am, what I talked about on my blog.
That not being such a problem though, chill buddy has been in my life for more than a year,
knowing about my blog and visiting should have came hand in hand,
But however, I gave that one away.

Maybe he (yes he), is not the blog, computer or even internet type.
The closest he may get to the internet is the keyboard on his phone.
-_- maybe.
So I elaborated a little about what my blog was about...
Wasn't even finished my God damned sentence when..
YEAH
"Who are you, though? To right this stuff, like who is nik_gold? Am I a source to care?"
came slurring out of his mouth.
Now I know he may not be the only one to have that question, 
nik_gold?
blogger?
what's that?
But the way you undermine someone for their worth and
meaning limits them as a 
person, and what they could someday be...
Plus, blogging is freeeeeeeee, internet is unlimited and 
what I do with my site is everything and ANYTHING for me.
It's my Myspace reloaded, Facebook 7.0, TwitterPLUS,
It's my open end to a closed fist and anyone with a problem can just not read,
go read necole Bitchie or something and have a nice day.


Now I don't know who my readers surround themselves with but
someone who is willing to down something or someone before they fully understand
anything and you chill with them, and theyre arent giving you advice.
PUHLEASE
I think less of them than all the racist, timids, morbids, close minded, individuals in the world
especially since I was chilling with you in redundant, depressing Orangeburg trying to make the best of it.

Spit.

Your belief that one person can mean nothing makes YOU less than anything.



30.7.08

Available Symphony

okay so we all make mistakes.
we all know were making the mistake when were making it ... well half the time.

My question is
"why cant God talk to us when he doesnt want us to make the mistake?"
or maybe he does
so we know were nothing but human
or maybe im justifying my actions...

We only live right
once
and "Match Point"
has inspired me to be lucky then...
whatever the outcome
lucky is more of a 50/50 chance "like whether if the ball when it hits the net will bounce back to you or go over"

To only think I thought i was perfect.
Now im used
feel like ive been thru it all but i know thats only half.
im a tool used to make waves through this world.
for what i have no idea and i think thats the point.
How big the wave makes me ponder..
a lost doll is more attractive than one that sits in place.

My head is closed for service my fingers move on their own
based on my swinging emotions..
swinging on gorilla bars
laced with acid and razor sharp spikes
but i dont mind
my mind is not in it.
a natural high
to capture my facial expressions and replace them with strung out notes of a melodic saxophone

Why conjure up the spirit of innocence??
So it can be used to and run around until its old torn and black?
Why not just deal with what you have now.
its good for now
lol
your not crying
just tearing so its not that bad
remember what mom said , "people have it much worse"

So close your eyes
open your arms and hike up your pants
Secret
and take a shower_
you smell