19.2.08

Addicted.

Umm yea this was in my head.. so here it goes. :

Burning letters
captivate his rhythmic genes
his sculptic eyes
crease with the inept capability of humor.
His knees ran crooked
his heart bleed guilty doves.

-nik.



lol but anyway like my kicks bill is 699..... whos paying that?
smh aim wont be seeing me for a while. Idk im not even into sidekicks anymore.. its too big now. I really want to use my sis blackberry pearl. You noe the one she gave me months ago but i didnt want to use cause i was still stuck on the sidekick phase? smh it makes me sick. lol i am sick. i didn't even go to school today. Thanks to my lovely friend Ros Thanks! lol. Its funny cause i cant send texts but hellakids textin me, where are you, and i would have never known they cared.

And fashion show is today too but they can kick rocks cause i want to do it but they cant threaten the 20 models out of 100 that dont come anymore to show up or be cut. My health is way more important than being ghetto fab for one of there over-critizied under dramatical, cheap ass fashion show scene.

I have a question. This one is rather personal because its been going on for 20 years and probably only mom dad and my sis (blackberry pearl) knows. How do you love and hate someone at the same time? Like my mom paid for my dad twice to come down here and... do nothing well..... lol as far as im concerned. and complained more than half the time. The when i ask to go to Ny for w/e a weekend or such she dosent respond. Not even to scare anyone or myself but me and dad asked if im still coming in may and she got deadly silent. Like wth is that?? We were dropping my father off at the airport last night, ( and this will forever be in my mind, cause i was coughing up blood and watering tears and sniffling the whole time) and shes by his side the whole time, like a kid in the candy store. I mean it really has been 20 years and she got her first piece of jewelry from him 2 days ago. She complained the whole time we were at the airport when she wasnt joined at the hip with him and said.. and i quote " were like were leaving at 8:30",, and we didn't cause i suffered 30 more mins and she waited for him to get through scanning, watched him get searched or w/e ran thru security to put oil on him (thats cool, i guess) slobbered down for 5 min like teenagers in heat and looked back every 5 sec, and then i layed on the floor (mind you i still looked up to par in dress but i was tired as hell) Like i felt so uncared for and neglected.... Then she had the nerve to talk about him the whole way home,, and got lost in the process. ( i just plugged the ipod in and drifted in and out of sleep)


.... kk.. mayb that was a lil too personal but now you noe where im coming from... sigh*
Is my mom addicted?

the funny thing is i didnt noe i could answer calls when your bill was 700 i mean they did kick me off of everything else including aim. So i got like 20 calls and returned one of them.... the rest will figure it out i guess... smh This is definetly not a happy post. Mayb im justt addicted to solemn words that are enduring enuff to get me through the day? (like that huh?) lmbo.