Speaking of

Just an intro... I have had a rollercoaster of a week starting with last Tuesday, I almost felt guilty for being so happy and positive. Now I wish for that feeling back, I proritized and went through my day easily. Now I have to focus more on God, college and my family and not the other oblivious aspects of my life. I believe God takes us through stages in life to reach goals and therefore elevating us as a person. Since college started I'm on a new trail and noone can lead me off.

speaking of diamonds and class and college and growth.
I live like I see fit,
every minute
bit by bit
though some may be humamnized errors to look at oneself miniscule by miniscule
I see nothing wrong since im a young lady..
still in school
I choose now to look at myself as a whole, the world a whole by many
memorizing the great ones by the size of their soul
Mistakes come and go leaving misheveled footprints like dirty snow but only wet rimmed eyes can see past the flakes of fake.
Only fake can see fake
so no not I.
The whole that I am can only see real, whole and wonderful things.
The kind of things that pleasant ones bring.
To whom or what I'm speaking to I have no idea.
I speak of diamonds, class, college and growth, that I am, that I see and what I assume makes me


Truth on Brown: 101

Black Barbie here:
Why is black an ugly word???
Don't listen to webster (the white man) its not evil! It's strong, worthy, dynamite and lethal.
Whats wrong with a brown skin girl.. I said brown NOT caramel
Why is every other song about having a "redbone"?
Promoting the small waist, thick-thighed, good hair (or so they think), redbone chick?
I mean, I have no problem with lightskinned myself, thus having many friends and a good portion of them being light, I hate being referred to as the pretty dark one.. oh and pretty one thats dark. EW!
What happened to promoting beauty period? As many darkskinned girls as light in all the videos?
What happened to Gabrielle Union over Eva Pigford?
Naomi Campbell over Meagan Good?? Who infact has gotten lighter over the years.. hmmM
What happened to the beautiful golden brown Rihanna first started out with?

Whats wrong with a women as strong as natural as Erykah Badu, as strong as Angela Bassatt, as funny as Wanda Sykes, as dynamite as Vivica Fox and as stunning as Kenya Moore???
Do you even know a Kenya Moore?

What happened to that Hershey Bar brown??
That Darker the Berry Sweeter the Juice phrase?
We know thats true right?
Why are we still trying to get back to the idea the whiter, brighter is righter???

What happened to a woman as down to Earth as Tichina Arnold, with a smile like Kerry Washington and a booty like Serena Williams, with a personality like Nia Long, moves like Janet Jackson, as positive as Queen Latifah and a walk like Iman?
As black as Alek Wek, as soulful as Toni Braxton, a smile like Sharon Leal and a voice like Estelle...

What happened??
Do we want our black race to be destroyed, no more beautiful brown. Controlled by our surroundings so when we find a beautiful brown we turn it around.
I hate the phrase "pretty for a darkskinned girl".
It's the the same as pretty for a black person...
I know that hurts my soul, why hurt our race?

Why can't we listen to songs like Candy Bar, by keith Murray and
Pimpin all over the world, Ludacris and zoom in when he says the most beautiful women come from Africa?!! Our homeland... Why can't we embrace or race instead of trying to find something better?
Take all skin tones and love them for what they are?

One good listen to a couple of Tupac's hits including, "I aint mad at cha", "Keep ya head up" and "Ill be missing you" just soothes my soul.

I'm not ashamed to say I am a B L A C K Barbie, just smarter, more unique and with an edge then your regular one ;-)


an O C T O B E R lift

I have had my ups and downs
Ins and outs
October leaves I have been turned over and over
and blown every which way
For when I was trully up I looked down instead of opening my arms
I believe God wants me to be in a happy place.
As I sit here listening to the oldie "This will be"
I can't find one thing that is wrong with my life
The cool sunset warming my beating melody
The gentle thrash of the wind threatening to grow with each passing second
Just challenges to
over come
Now every mountain prepares me for the next one
Every pissed off Black lady or manipulative white dude
Prepares me for the real sharks of the world

I learned my skin needed to be thicker yesterday...
I know it will be hard, hopefully not to the point where I cry but Im ready
Before the glow of my heart yeilds thin to societies call I stand on my own
The last tree to overturn leaves
Bark still ripe with liquid air and leaves still filled with plunder, experience and serenity.

Not the insensitive Black woman but a courageous ball of fire that knows where she stands.
Acknowledging and
Reaping the repercussions of my actions
Taking each day for its own