Showing posts with label meaning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meaning. Show all posts

26.10.10

This may not be the sweetest post to anyways tongue.

But it quite frankly needs to be put out of my system, my aura, my space.
It's ruining my mood and my developing outlook on the world.

I was "Chilling" yesterday.
Normal day in Orangeburg,
Dreary, depressing and redundant.
But I make the best... sometimes, by chilling.
Chilling which could be a number of things but right now I'm not getting specific 
cause chilling was never the problem.

However the person I choose to chill with yesterday stirred a lot up in me.
I am not one to shy away from arguments especially
when I am heavily connected to the topic, but chill buddy yesterday crossed, drew and ran right threw the line.

Things I hold close to me are what anyone else would hold close to theirs.
Plus this here blog. 
Having it for some years, it is my buddy ol pal.
My closest buddy I can voice my opinions and know they will be heard.

What I post is real, authentic and at times embarrassing but 
it's my way to voice myself and I wouldnt change it for the world
 I don't keep an in depth journal and tis why I
don't get so personal on this here blog.
I mean this is still the internet.
Business EVERY WHICH WAY.

....

But I digress.
Chill buddy yesterday 
basically asked me being who I am, what I talked about on my blog.
That not being such a problem though, chill buddy has been in my life for more than a year,
knowing about my blog and visiting should have came hand in hand,
But however, I gave that one away.

Maybe he (yes he), is not the blog, computer or even internet type.
The closest he may get to the internet is the keyboard on his phone.
-_- maybe.
So I elaborated a little about what my blog was about...
Wasn't even finished my God damned sentence when..
YEAH
"Who are you, though? To right this stuff, like who is nik_gold? Am I a source to care?"
came slurring out of his mouth.
Now I know he may not be the only one to have that question, 
nik_gold?
blogger?
what's that?
But the way you undermine someone for their worth and
meaning limits them as a 
person, and what they could someday be...
Plus, blogging is freeeeeeeee, internet is unlimited and 
what I do with my site is everything and ANYTHING for me.
It's my Myspace reloaded, Facebook 7.0, TwitterPLUS,
It's my open end to a closed fist and anyone with a problem can just not read,
go read necole Bitchie or something and have a nice day.


Now I don't know who my readers surround themselves with but
someone who is willing to down something or someone before they fully understand
anything and you chill with them, and theyre arent giving you advice.
PUHLEASE
I think less of them than all the racist, timids, morbids, close minded, individuals in the world
especially since I was chilling with you in redundant, depressing Orangeburg trying to make the best of it.

Spit.

Your belief that one person can mean nothing makes YOU less than anything.



1.10.09

an O C T O B E R lift

I have had my ups and downs
Ins and outs
October leaves I have been turned over and over
and blown every which way
For when I was trully up I looked down instead of opening my arms
I believe God wants me to be in a happy place.
As I sit here listening to the oldie "This will be"
I can't find one thing that is wrong with my life
The cool sunset warming my beating melody
The gentle thrash of the wind threatening to grow with each passing second
Just challenges to
over come
Now every mountain prepares me for the next one
Every pissed off Black lady or manipulative white dude
Prepares me for the real sharks of the world

I learned my skin needed to be thicker yesterday...
I know it will be hard, hopefully not to the point where I cry but Im ready
Before the glow of my heart yeilds thin to societies call I stand on my own
The last tree to overturn leaves
Bark still ripe with liquid air and leaves still filled with plunder, experience and serenity.

Not the insensitive Black woman but a courageous ball of fire that knows where she stands.
Me
Growing
Thinking
Acknowledging and
Reaping the repercussions of my actions
Taking each day for its own

nik_gold