I got chills watching this video made by my friend @KingJaffiJoffer .

How realistic is the scenario of stressed out R.A's?

My mother suggested I be one with free room and board or maybe a paycheck every week.

But does the success of being an R.A balance out with the amount of zeros at the end of a check?

Being a R.A is like being a confidant,

a manager, counselor, adviser, janitor... and the list goes on.

While balancing your schedule as well as others there are only a few special individuals who could

handle being an R.A in college. Even the most successful ones seem to be ones that do not attend the school

but live in the dorms and to be honest that seems heartbreaking. 

I've finally enjoyed the understanding of one of life's greatest secrets.

Planning.

It may sound so unoriginal and prosthetic

But the key behind planning is effective planning.

Im bound to learn more about these differences with summer ending and school beginning & me wearing more hats than ever before. A wise lady said this is the vast difference between a teenager and an adult.

GROWING UP.

Honestly, there is nothing honest about honesty.

Putting honest in front of your one true fact for the day

Makes me ridicule the other bullshit you spew on the daily.

I don't want the mediocracy

I like it raw and ground breaking.

So give that to me and nothing else.

I need that.

Honestly.

They say the summer is what you make of it.

I'm being quickly convinced that there are some things and situations you just have to go through to get through.

No avoiding it but with it's passing you learn a lesson.

I'm like, oh boy summer homework???

But being honest I'd rather burn and grow then be soothed and babied.

So here I am growing and burning and stuff

...

And it's refreshing up here 

AHHHH

The life...

Right?

JHENE AIKO - STRANGER from Jhené Aiko on Vimeo.

Came across this video/song

and

1. Noticed how beautiful and how effortless it was

2. Noticed how meaningful her words were.

3. Noticed I can't sing 

4. I was going to be tight on time to work blogging about it

As sickening as this sounds,


As sickening as this sounds, I love but I want to love more.
Meet someone I love till I cant love no more
Appreciate my presence,
Appreciates my style and effort
Recognizes the beauty in my bad angles.
Can't get enough of me
Repeatedly reminds me how special I am
... to them
Loves me unconditionally.
Hates to argue.
Loves to talk
Treats me the best
The best to where I'm afraid to lose because I KNOW
there is nothing else.
Smokes and listens to the Weeknd unintentionally
or maybe Carl Thomas or maybe some Marsha
some Legend, lifting me off my feet
as we chat about everyone wanting to be different
Inspiring each other by the every other word we speak
Needlessly needing to know everyone in each others life
Forgiving to forget
Forgetting nothing but the past that doesnt relate
Finding more attractive people and still realizing the importance of one another
Licking away milktaches
and riding on top of cars.
Making memories without Kodaks
Each other's biggest fan
Always staying cool while making each other hot.
A constant lust and reminder of passion
And life in the now.
So good that all you can do is appreciate it and hate it when it leaves.
But that is essentially what is it
Like - > Love - > Admire - > Hurt - > Hate
"Hey" someone new and the cycle starts over again.
This time we are eager yet bitter
a little harder to please
needs another puff 
another sipp to take it all in.
Ready for the ending
Anticipating the new beginning.
As sickening as this sounds.
Is it wrong?

Exactly.

I was sitting and wondering about all the black specials in magazines.

* Some old Urban Outfitters, Deena & Ozzy Wedges, felt like spicing them up so I would actually wear them more during the spring time =]

So,



I always start with so, but so says so much.


This week hasn't gone as planned at all.


Im actually in a computer lab room on Georgia State campus the day before my birthday.


Not that I'm essentially hating my planning but I knew what I was working with when I got here.


Tight money, less friends (some are on Spring Break) and my mom who always craves my attention.

Ive been having an epic time on budget though, surprisingly when people think money is the only way to have fun. The only thing Im missing is a shopping spree. Not to sad though because.... well let's just say the next 24 hours I will be blessed.

I digress


Im actually glad im at state though.


Envisioning myself walking these streets in a couple of months taking classes


only empowers me to be better on top of my grades.


My grades are actually good however, it seems my mom's dominant genes of being a worry freak help


a massive amount when talking about grades.


From emailing to going the extra mile on assignments.


All I have to worry about are my tardies, the few absenses and Music class.


Out of all classes, music class. -_-


Look at my face!


But aside for that, things are looking up, I'm seeing brighter days and guess what!?


Im turning mofo 19!!!


That's a big number for me.


It's no 21 or sweet 16 but it's a milestone for me.! I remember when my sister was 19


and I looked up to her like she ruled the world.


To be realistic, I need to be doing much more with my 19 years.


At 20 I see myself finally starting my longly awaited fashion line including, jewelry and all the other stuff I make,


A job, a condo downtown and a withstanding 4.0


Give me a year though.


Oh yeah and active, aside for my puppy (Miley maybe?)


Taking on yoga or my first love dance which I've been on strike my sophomore year here at Claflin.






Just a side note,


I can't go ANYWHERE without seeing someone I know.


I don't mind, just know I will be feeling myself tomorrow night and forever more.


Coming into oneself doesnt seem so bad anymore.


When you know what type of butterfly youre developing into.

@nik_gold

@fyoi_ty

@livin_w0rth

@thebiggapproach

How I was feeling today, no real place in MY life per say,

but felt like putting it out into the air.

I always have something to say.

but two things constantly escape me.

Energy + Time

- A little poem I wrote in class