- A little poem I wrote in class

 

and I continue to smile...

Que???



Saw my grades... I was never a C, D or F stupid... Student??
IDK how I typed stupid but that fits my mood right now.
ARGHHH!!!!
Well I got 2 As!!!
And so I have excuses and don't run myself into the ground the following is listed...




1st semester was easier to me. 
I spread myself thin but time managed very well.
Didn't have crazy ADD nor absorb myself into frivolous situations
Was always active, I've caught myself being lazy a couple of times.
Paranoid, shy and a push over when it came to teachers and grades.
4 p.m. class
Did not even try community service -_-
Relationships were not sticky nor was I recovering from anything
Was not tying to support myself and three fish 
and I was focused.
on me
my future
my time and space here
I am getting back to that place this summer
Closer and closer everyday because I look back and compare my 1st to my 2nd semester and can do nothing but shake my head.
Im not horrible nor failing out of college but the term, everyone has been saying these past couple of weeks...
"you are better than this"
Has come into affect
I am better than this.




So no more 4.0's next semester I want and will earn a big ol
5.0**



live_gold

SepSeptemberber

I don't walk alone on campus much. That'll change, I realized Im in college and I'd rather have people think I'm older than younger. I'm in college and wanted to take pix of my many outfits but realized I have nooooo time, NO time. I'm in college and realized I'm on my own. Noone will look out for me, even though the school is small noone is going to say, "Hey where is Nicole?"

I can stop being so damn friendly to people, Orientation week is over. My morning texts will still vibrate through people's phone in the morning just for the fact that it centers me too. Im gonna stop hanging out with the same people, they're cool and be my sisters for the rest of the year because theyre so damn cool but I got to open my circle more or I'll die, yes even to boys. Im srry but doing this radio thing I need to make way more male friends then the ones I think are gay but can't completely dress so I'm utterly confused on their sexually preference...

On the topic on sexes...

Even though I may think people can see through my facade of being very self concious I'll have to get over that because time is money and I've wasted the past 3 weeks being Nicole instead of Nik_gold. Nik_gold is going to conquer this campus. Small little Claflina and I thought I could make it to Howard, thank the Lord Jesus I differed that acceptance. Im about to hulu Wendy Williams and Chelsea Handler, take a double dosage of my happy pills wish I had some to chase it down ( I kid) maybe not but who cares! I do. I haven't been to a party since I've been here. Everyone else has had an outlet and Im preparing byself to stay in SC for labor day... UGH! But maybe not.. there are some concerts going on, and you all know Id rather over dress then under.

Im also going to be more confident, that includes the traveling on my own because I guess people are scared, defensive of some people I walk with, w.e just expand my friend circle or whatever, but Ill be strong if their 3 wk friendship falls through. Example A: I met this tour guide in May when I initionally came and dont get the thought in your mind he is worth a blog he is just an example at how loose my networking skills are I cant be nice Nikki all the time I gotta sink my teeth into some people and let them know... Cause aparently they don't be knowing. (ew) lol

Forreal thoe!

Now tomorrow I got to get my ish in order I cant be walking around campus like Madonna without a head or Angela Jolie without a cause!!!

First Step: Deep, hot soothing shower... in the community shower providing by Claflin of course. =)


Live_gold

Micros

Im dying out here!

So I watching Paris' show Its Paris, Not France and I was actually going to cry during this show because my mom is leaning towards Claflin U because they gave me another scholarship ... (why can't she work that magic over at Howard???)

Well anyways I was scared of losin gmy friends but then was like (wah??) friends would mind if they havent talked to you in a couple weeks or if you deleted your myspace, facebook and only twittered once a week.

I finally got inkie winkie on the phone and felt much better. Im blessed. People can be so happy when they have nothing (well not so much have nothing to lose) but more of a have nothing left type situation.

Relating back to Paris.. she was talking about the sex tape and how it affected her greatly because she wasnt 19 like they thought she was.. in fact she was around 16ish...


wtf????
and how she cried calling the boy begging him to not put the sex tape out there. But he was like eff it money is money...

andddd how her friends knew he was getting that close because he knew she was going to be famous one day and apparently wanted something of a leverage base.

what a bitch.

well she has the same procrastinations most of us have.. friends, what they think about me and money. Not much concern in the money department but friends and what they think about me are definetly highlighted to a microscopic level..


But newho Im out and about, taking out my micros but now about to hit the road and pick up mom from work, tomorrow i believe will be glorious. =) Only if I add this downtown thing with my riders lmbooooo

ohh lord so my plan is to be very grateful and appreciative of what I have.. and smile. Why the heck not???

Smells Summer Baked to me!

Summer is almost over (for me at least) and I must say Ive done a lot.. In Georgia at least. I partied chilled, slept over, had people sleep over, did mad college stuff (and is currently still mourning on the fact that Oprah is not trying to help a sister afford Howard) so Valdosta I go, though I did enjoy the dorm waiting list. I got drunk...? high? nah....umm lol But i most definetly had fun whatever I got into got so much clothes and more coming for freshman year but Ill be regs. cause there is no best dressed in college (But I cant help it!).


OHHH MY TATTOO!
BEFORE...


*AFTER* *- -*
(!)



Nik_gold has learned to be a little more ascertive and directed through her sisters current situation she has learned to take no bs and is still learning not to let ignorant nincumpoops run over me (this is only extended towards friends who do to00o much) .

Ive grown closer to the Lord and most definetely feel blessed and as a direct encouragement on life. Im listening to the Howards lil affinity music for their freshmans |=( ugh!!

But anywho I can't wait until school starts. I know im going to get home sick and miss Miley but Im ready for it, Im ready to meet new people to be put in situations and land on top, to earn and develop my own grown women mentality and independence. Im ready to get back to dancing while staying focused on school work and getting my car in MARCH. That is all I want from my father.. Its too late for him to be a dad to me, I trully believe and in March too late for him for him to help me financially and my mom is apparently okay with that, i just want that car!!

I also need these micros outt!! I dont see myself starting the epitomy of adult life (college!!) with 3 month old threatening to become mini-dread micros! I need a texturizer, I want/need to be even more exotic and ecletic in the best way from everyone my age and at any moment in time. Im not going to be in the same mindset as other freshmans unless theyre talking about money, connections and future adventures.

Im ready, willing and able!

oh btw Im transferring to Howard ater 2 yrs andd...

Live_gold