Available Symphony

okay so we all make mistakes.
we all know were making the mistake when were making it ... well half the time.

My question is
"why cant God talk to us when he doesnt want us to make the mistake?"
or maybe he does
so we know were nothing but human
or maybe im justifying my actions...

We only live right
once
and "Match Point"
has inspired me to be lucky then...
whatever the outcome
lucky is more of a 50/50 chance "like whether if the ball when it hits the net will bounce back to you or go over"

To only think I thought i was perfect.
Now im used
feel like ive been thru it all but i know thats only half.
im a tool used to make waves through this world.
for what i have no idea and i think thats the point.
How big the wave makes me ponder..
a lost doll is more attractive than one that sits in place.

My head is closed for service my fingers move on their own
based on my swinging emotions..
swinging on gorilla bars
laced with acid and razor sharp spikes
but i dont mind
my mind is not in it.
a natural high
to capture my facial expressions and replace them with strung out notes of a melodic saxophone

Why conjure up the spirit of innocence??
So it can be used to and run around until its old torn and black?
Why not just deal with what you have now.
its good for now
lol
your not crying
just tearing so its not that bad
remember what mom said , "people have it much worse"

So close your eyes
open your arms and hike up your pants
Secret
and take a shower_
you smell