3.11.11

I have Had a heart.

And it's not that I was blindly in love...
Just comfortable where I was
Cuddled up in the fetal position
Making love with our everyday talk
Loving, Learning, Fighting, Living, Tasting, Touching, Being
Loved
I thought I would fall and be caught
But instead I ran into a wall
Overlooking a fatal sharp edged fall
Painting of a sharp cliff over looking 
the Maui ocean
Warm and welcoming with waves waving up at me distantly
Fanning me in closer to the edge
I step back and pebbles drift off the edge to nowhere


I was given a version of life never to be fulfilled
Empty hopes and dreams 
A sad ended destiny
A path never written
I often retrace my steps and try and figure out where things went bad
But you can't erase the pain nor regain the trust lost


Miley!
Miley! Where are you?
Here reminding me of a make shift family that was never to be
Tail waging trying too hard to make the inevitable unfold
In my hands like foreign origami 
The pieces bent and wrinkled from retakes and mistakes
Nothing is ever perfect
Perfect is never there but what it was was rare
But when do you stop, look, listen and realize
the other just doesn't care?
Saying, Doing and Acting are three different things and when 1+1 doesn't equal 2.
Something's pathetically wrong


I sit and wonder if I'm the only one feeling feelings
But I know looking back will only fool me again
Painting a new picture of a sunset rising in the early drafted sky
I see the colors before me
But know it's only smoke and mirrors doing the tricks
and hiding the treats
Feeling a little bit empty I start my journey alone
Arms by my side and head held high
A little sore, eyes wide, broken yet strengthened to the core
Like the broken hearted story retold
And it's not that I was blindly in love
Just comfortable where I was.



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