First Block Episode

I can honestly say this month has been.. well rather different. Actually having to be in it to experience how it is. Eleven points for eleven days of random fasting (meaning just forget the internet but Im eating what I shouldnt!!)
1. Not voted best dressed. ( But clearly am, smh at Stephenson and the lames that attend it. Im so on my college grind now!!)
2. Big Sister had some drama and is now relocated to ATL =)( She has always been the peace maker between my mom and I, she makes sense!)
3. Mom wants to be the dirty, old, raggidy, weird black vine spreading rumors and lies but now about her own kids. (Wow what great parenting skills you have my dear)
4. I only have friends and best friends, nothin more, (once again thanks mom)
5. Havent made any progress what so ever between all the drama, mom and trying to stay sane.
6. Couldnt even DANCE it off dance practice was canceled so I might just have some more stuff to do when I get home.. Like danceee! in the shower, closest outsideee =)
7. Realized I was very busy at one point with one person and I can do a WHOLE lot in the meantime.
8. I have rather senstive feelings though I wrap them in a razor blanket so everyone else can feel my wrath. (hehehe)
9. Im very well rounded and not falling off the edge, nor near it for that matter.
10. I havent begun to miss myspace or facebook like that but we can forget the fast food and junk food when your mom doesnt cook nor bring food home regularly.
11. You can only look out for your best interest, though people care and love you they might not know all you want and the path you would rather choose.

On other notes. Lily Allen miscarried. I dont know how I feel about it. I believe its horrible, but its also life and might help her writeeeeee and make better music =)


This week has been absolutely.... scenic.
Even the cloudy days were memorable.
I really have to pray about a lot also.
School My Future My Mom and Sister.
Where this path is leading me how I think of myself and where God plans to take me...

We shall see.
Updates soon...
Live _gold

Sunlit 61st

Soo today was like the 2nd or third day and I cheated! =/

I saw push today!! The movie was 6.5 I didnt fall asleep but it was confusing and didnt end wrapping all the loose ends together.
Then I lost my Steak and Shake virginity!
Their 89 cents burger out the McDonalds cheeseburger and double cheeseburger to shame AND it wasnt even a CHEESEBURGER. It was great their fries however are skinny!! I like my mickeydee fries anyday! however I didnt get to try their shake I thought that was over indulging....

Tomorrow Im wearing sweats and also bringing a camera so I can take pictures.
When I wear my senior sweat shirt leggings and warm boots and a hat. The leggings and the hat of course wont be shown but it will be there =)

Anywho We shall see how tomorrow goes. People like my zebra nails its clear this time but Im getting it done tomorrow. =)


live_GOLD

Give it up: My Fasting Virginity

I dont know how exactly to get through this.
I know that when I'm done with this i'll read my bible.
I know that I'm doing this until the 18th for sure.
I know that I may be taking this too seriously but if I dont I'll slip up and let you down... =P
Seriously though I have to do this I believe the average 17 yr old has about 75 percent self-control. I on the other hand have about 35. Why? Quite simply because I'm used to getting what I want. No not that I'm spoiled rotten but the things I want arent that out of reach just so I wont hear a no...
But anyways the sun is out. Half the reason most words are white and in church the first sunday we wear white. =)Purified.

We were out of school for this, slush, water, and the sun. Im not complaining though.








New Shoes


Ill be back with updates, this is just the beginning!
live_GOLD

Fast March Madness

The month of my 17th birthday has been a real roller coaster in the first couple of hours.

Turning 17 I will be drama free and relaxed but why wait I'm in a transition now for what i have yet to figure out but it involves being 100% honest with everyone no matter how raw.
Maybe rawness for mother deareast but everyone else can get.

Mommy asked, well its not her first time asking but she asked today for the 9589 billionth time why in every relationship I get in the person confesses his love for me. Not true in the summer case but in general its usually positive news on my side. She convinced herself I was my father's child and people are just naturally attracted to me and a part of me may believe it but I looked around for a more solid answer...
Then I stumbled across this...




"Marriage Magnet Reveals Her Basically Unhelpful Secret
Dating & LoveOdd NewsFeb 20th 2009
By Emerald Catron

Hey lonely hearts, looking for love in all the wrong places? One woman has been proposed to NINE freaking times, and she's finally figured out what the secret is.

British author Adele Parks, now 40, had already been proposed to seven times by the time she was 23, starting with a 17-year-old boyfriend at a roadside cafe. Her trick was easy enough -- she just wasn't herself.

It turns out that by acting however the guy you're with wants you to, and presenting yourself as something you're not, is a great way to get proposals!

Winning Over Mr. Wrong
Of course, like Adele, you probably wouldn't want to accept those misguided marriage offers, so maybe they shouldn't really count.

Writes Parks, "My fault was that I gave each boyfriend the part of me I knew they'd find palatable, but never the whole package. I should have had the confidence to present myself wholly, truthfully, faults and all. Instead, I was living like a trainee Stepford Wife.""




No I have never been proposed too not even once. But part of this ladies statement is true for me. EITHER I have a very adaptive personality which can be very true because Im also 100% comfortable with who I am in relationships. Well 90% in these last few.

OR

Im just like her, I self conciously pick a part of me that they are prone to and mold myself around it for the next several months.

This could be the answer to why I always change every couple of months (apperance small stuff) Or it could be that Im still just changing and growing. Like my eco teacher Mr. Jeffrey says there are no black and white areas just grey ones.




IMPORTANT
Im also fasting.
This includes
myspace
facebook
candy
soda junk
and anything else I feel is unworthy.

It funny because I used to look at people who fasted and was like wah?? I guess i JUST NEVER took it as serious as I should have. Focusing on the wrong things. Like my sister said this morning which really calmed me down, take 10 secinds regroup and refocus.
Im reading a random scripture from my bible every morning and writing in my new flower book and doing these online blogs on how Im doing.
I think my mom would be proud of my ambitions but I plan to show here through actions instead of talk.



Movingonnnnnn.

range 2006

OR
range 2003


I know there is a crazy difference in price as in year but Georgia is known for selling cars to any Dick, Sue, Mary or Harry.
My plan is to get a good job (one I can continue through college)
and small loan along with the money daddy should have paid me all these years and maybe even a little of my bond money. I dont want to be in too much debt but I already will because of college.


COLLEGE....

well this is a totally different story. Every weekend and spare time i have goes to college applications, scholarships, fafsa SOMETHING to do with my future and Im not mad at it my future looks bright but can they make applications a little easier. Like colleges on the same level once you send one application out to one it goes to the rest?? And scholarships that are a given with the school or associate themselves with the school email you. There is so much to do!! Im not even finished at least one out of two schools still NEED something from me. Im really just wanting a acceptance letter and a pedi-mani for my bday. I believe I deserve it.

I have no idea birthdays have really never been a real big thing for me but every bday I get my hopes up that something BIG and wonderful will happen ... and well. It hasnt. Though Henry's jesters were nice they dont count when I have no affection back.
The couple I love the most at Stephenson my bomb high school has to be beast Cassandra and Rob. Sandra and I had class together and she asked me almost everyday where my clothes came from. Yes, that can really make you love someone why not? When they think like you? Anywho their affection is sweet, civil and modest yet its clear they are special to each other, already with kodaks and just seem to click easily.
Yes this is Nicole rambling having no idea yet again where she is going with this...
=X

I shall be a little prayer warrior these next few days, but I can't do it alone. Pray for me.
Too finish it off here are some pics of the fake Georgia snow storm we experienced today...






delicious curry and rush hour movie! yum!


live_gold

Fast

lets make this short cause moms coming home.
i miss textin ... my friend
school is tomorrow
i need to focus
and start reading my bible yet AGAIN
(when i neglected my phone i neglected my bible)


umm some picss

my friend is leaving 15th and left my house yesterday =(
** came out the womb myself so i can survive on my own** =/



me, bestie, dates hand =/.. her date is somewhere..

school n stuff,


why would they have the first day of school and senior pictures on the same day??????????
can anyone say ride??

pray for me*

fastinggg. cul8r. lol

Error: Message Could Not Be Sent, Try Again Later.

My mind runs around in forwarded messages complaining about the forwardees that reply. My fingers dangling off my board hopelessly waiting for a meaningful message but noone sends. My heart quivers with the thoughts of losing feeling, going numb, dumb, blinded, with that just smoked a blunt feeling.

Techno spirited but absentminded because I'm trying not to cry over the convos we could of had since two in the morn. my skin vibrates with sympathy with being a temptation unprescribed for and thus unwanted and unnecessary. When can i find my three am replyer, without female forwarders or in this case concubine texters, and after three years of comfort and relief im not fasted for like a bad drug...

They say life has its ups and downs like a roller coaster, a mistaken sent message, or even worse a love note with the wrong name. I must label this a down's down, labeled chill cause worse would be a resender in this weather when we all know you got the message.

the warning

the warning;;



kk so the deal is i haven't had a phone in what feels like 3months
and in a sense i don't want one cause i feel tracked down;;



well same thing with this internet and comp thing.
like i sorta want to break it again
so i dont have to be clockinin or just feel attached to something soooo

meaningless..


so basically the warning is im fasting or w.e

and maybe in this sense when i come back on, ill have like a million comments or w.e


so basically im untouchable if you dont have my house #
and
in a way im trapped cause the internet is my music source

i dont listen to the radio

(hate georgia personalities)
but in a sense i guess ill live

cause w.o the comp phone or w.e i get creative on my own
having to comfort myself or be "in person" with whoever is entertaining me,


i know however this is going to be hard
because im gonna be wondering whos talkin to who, what is he/she doing

but truthfully ill get over it

cause in order to strengthn anything or friendship (or more) i have with you guys on (www)

i have to strengthm myself
(or w.e that means,, i guess ill figure that out , cause def got that from my sis breakin up with former hubby)
and now that shes going back to ny its gonna be even harder.
But i guess like Sam ill just recieve a more outgoing...interesting busy life
like the one i had in ny


cause to tell you the truth i do nothing
and thats basically why i have nothing to say..

so with that i part.



much love and animosity
see you in a couple of longgg hardddd weeks. lol

nik-%%%

visit the space (www.myspace.com/na318) so, "when i come back on, ill have like a million comments or w.e" will happen.
lol kk?
peacengrease


;;took a pic with me and the dress before i return it for a pair of skinny ymi gray jeansss. lol in love already. =]