So I was asked today to be real...
I thought I was being real...
I have always considered myself to be a real person with real thoughts to be displayed in a civil yet realistic way though I do hesitate when knowing the answer will hurt.
Who wouldn't? Im a human being, yeah one with faults and all.
A human being that questions herself, her questioning herself and why she is the way she is which is a deeper version of one questioning herself.
I am trying to get hardened by the world but not to the point where people are like "what a bitch".
I just hate being hurt.
Yes I've been hurt before and if I choose to move forward with anyone I need to re-step... my steps.
If possible of course. I am
Human,
I do human things and think human thoughts.
I know Im weird but thats just the way I was raised right? Am I a special case? <<< me questioning myself is not a road you want to travel.
I have been crazy busy and that is why I have faltered in my othe to blog everyday but Ill try to keep up. I'm getting tired of uploading everyones pictures on FB too! Aren't they tired of people tracking them? Don't they want to fall of the face off the Earth and see who will follow??
Or thats just a me
thing.
I realized in my posts (reading back which I hate to do because I slightly embarrass myself) that I used to write a lot of poetry not so much on this site but the little posts stem from long pages thousands of texts and convos and random little thoughts. And then
Bloop!
A random poem on a random page with a random a-title.
Don't you love it?
You would if it were you're baby.. which has me tripping.
But then again I am a Pisces.
Being
Real
20.9.09
13.9.09
That was...
Well I'm still trying to get Beyonce's, Pink's and Jay-z's VMA's Performance on this page but WOW.
VMA's could have been tighter, more control over their microphones, their time management and their commercials!! Lord
ANd what happened to Trey Songz, Soulja Boy (you never know), Geunine for my R&B if your going to have a Rock section, Rihanna, Keri Hilson, Maroon 5 and Jennifer Hudson. What is going on??
Whats with Lady Gaga outfits, i guess if sitting behind Beyonce you have to do it big.
Eminem was given his due rights and Serena comes on Im thinking she was going to hit a few tennis balls ( not like the way she was dressed)
Pink entertained us upside wow.
Well until I get the videos.
NIGHT!
live_gold
VMA's could have been tighter, more control over their microphones, their time management and their commercials!! Lord
ANd what happened to Trey Songz, Soulja Boy (you never know), Geunine for my R&B if your going to have a Rock section, Rihanna, Keri Hilson, Maroon 5 and Jennifer Hudson. What is going on??
Whats with Lady Gaga outfits, i guess if sitting behind Beyonce you have to do it big.
Eminem was given his due rights and Serena comes on Im thinking she was going to hit a few tennis balls ( not like the way she was dressed)
Pink entertained us upside wow.
Well until I get the videos.
NIGHT!
live_gold
You already KNOW!
You already know
My heart fluttered this actually looks like it will be as good as the book.
I WILL be watching this pronto!!!
ugh love!
Its even more potent I have something new from Twilight because I only have 50 pages left of the LAST book of the series. I don't want to finish it!!
WHAT DO TWILIGHT SERIES READERS DO FOR WITHDRAWAL???????
Im trying to get the beyonce grand performance from VMAs up as Im typing this,
MULTITASK I TELL YA!
Surprise Surprise VMAs
KANYE WEST.
Well after I was already surprised enough that Taylor Swift won female video over who I really (I mean rrreallyyyy) thought would win (Lady GaGa) Kanye West makes an apperance. Not like Beyonce pan-to-face to see the reaction but on stage... next to Taylor.. with the microphone in his hand. Ranting, he said he was going to give the microphone back but Beyonce had the best video ever. etc! Basically dismissing Taylor from her even win. What the hell is going on in the world?? SInce when do random artist (not even the runner -ups) appear on stage voicing their opinion???
That is what a blog is for.
Im so shocked at someone who could be so class-less or like my mother says (on edge) but that can make or break you especially when you are not defined as a idol yet, Your no Michael Jackson and even he was accused or going over board.
Kanye West is a repeat offender
Serena Williams.
WHY? Are all black celebrities going overboard? Since when do we become babbling fouled-mouthed babies when not getting our way??, especially on court! Lose, go home and take it out on your mesuise (sound it out) or night out with drinks. Why are we losing, class dignity and a sense of respect?? I looked up to Serena and Kanye (for different reasons of course).
We already had Chris take a fall (Brown).
Michael Vick, Whitney Houston JUST got back into the game.
Not even to let my edge were off Lady GaGa begins her apperance with a bang but I wasn't even in the building totally at the time. Lady GaGa was enought, constantly changing and her apperances being rather random.
The head short guy of Green Day being a tad bit over board daring to take off the tape from his shirt. (UGH)
He later made a really a great memorable perfomance =?
But I didn't make it to the middle of the show yet!!!
I congratulate sanity nowadays, tired of randomness and the name phrase "swag"!
f.y.i
Beyonce STILL won video of the yer. Like she was going to in the first place and she even let Taylor come out and finish her speech.
THATS CLASS!
please prove me wrong Beyonce near perfect?
live_gold please!!!
Well after I was already surprised enough that Taylor Swift won female video over who I really (I mean rrreallyyyy) thought would win (Lady GaGa) Kanye West makes an apperance. Not like Beyonce pan-to-face to see the reaction but on stage... next to Taylor.. with the microphone in his hand. Ranting, he said he was going to give the microphone back but Beyonce had the best video ever. etc! Basically dismissing Taylor from her even win. What the hell is going on in the world?? SInce when do random artist (not even the runner -ups) appear on stage voicing their opinion???
That is what a blog is for.
Im so shocked at someone who could be so class-less or like my mother says (on edge) but that can make or break you especially when you are not defined as a idol yet, Your no Michael Jackson and even he was accused or going over board.
Kanye West is a repeat offender
Serena Williams.
WHY? Are all black celebrities going overboard? Since when do we become babbling fouled-mouthed babies when not getting our way??, especially on court! Lose, go home and take it out on your mesuise (sound it out) or night out with drinks. Why are we losing, class dignity and a sense of respect?? I looked up to Serena and Kanye (for different reasons of course).
We already had Chris take a fall (Brown).
Michael Vick, Whitney Houston JUST got back into the game.
Not even to let my edge were off Lady GaGa begins her apperance with a bang but I wasn't even in the building totally at the time. Lady GaGa was enought, constantly changing and her apperances being rather random.
The head short guy of Green Day being a tad bit over board daring to take off the tape from his shirt. (UGH)
He later made a really a great memorable perfomance =?
But I didn't make it to the middle of the show yet!!!
I congratulate sanity nowadays, tired of randomness and the name phrase "swag"!
f.y.i
Beyonce STILL won video of the yer. Like she was going to in the first place and she even let Taylor come out and finish her speech.
THATS CLASS!
please prove me wrong Beyonce near perfect?
live_gold please!!!
10.9.09
Even ice pricked pages turn...
Usually when my friend tells me news it must be NEWS, he usually doesn't tell me useless randomness unless were in that kind of moment.
Not today ugh! He told me he is currently talking to someone...Take back the ugh, so my feelings aren't entirely put out there. Im absolutely happy, that he's happy. While texting my response back to him however, a pit grew in my stomach and I soooo wasn't feeling the text anymore. I hate those love stories (trust me not hinting at anything like that) but when they blow something off as if it doesn't hurt them and the person goes on with their life. Only if they would have told them how much they meant to them and just let them in on a portion of their feelings things would have worked out differently.
Not saying that anyone would change and I'm not currently or at all for that matter become the love of his life but feelings this way.. Is that a true friend to be sort of unrealistically happy yet cautioned and very surpised so that what I really want to say is sort of frosted over? If that made ANY sense I hope you know where I'm coming from now. I'm a REALIST, I stay positive throughout the day but prepare myself for the worst which so far has never happened. This incident hit close to home and I'm wondering.. why is my throat dry? I feel like I have to swallow a tennis ball deep in my chest and my eyes are watering and burning like cutting onions. I'm not going to cry.... oh! There you go.. just had to blink. I forget sometimes.. JOKE! Well since that situation won't resolve itself I can only depend on life's time, practice and effort and realize how many people in the world I haven't met yet that are compatible, will hurt me and ultimately make me stronger. Especially since again in two years I plan on attending Howard and then graduate school (which preferably is not a HBCU) Wait!!! Before you judge. lol I just need diversity I liked that about VOX (the teen newspaper I wrote for), I LOVE that about the world and it is my main reason for begging my mom to let me travel soon in the future (yay!) I would have went to two HBCUs by the time I graduate Howard. geeeez! What a way to climb to the top!
Part II
My Blatant Addiction
I've been reading Twilight.. Lets say since this year BEFORE the movie came out before I knew I was going to see it, but certainly not before they started producing it.... hmmm I wonder when exactly. Well anyways, I'm on the fourth book.
I don't want to force you to read the book but if you do like a book that is page-turning, bonds you to the book, the characters and the world they live in so much so that you wish the book was reality even with all the problems then this is the book for you.
If you want a book that IS better, dear I say than ALL Harry Potter Books then yes Twilight is for you. Trust, I was on team Harry before I actually read the book because The Harry Potter series was good as well and they satisfied me with only seven books (like thats not a lot!!! Hundreds if not thousands of pgs per book). They're like fairy tale bibles in a way. The two books together both authors are females, not trying to empower my sex in anyway but YES! I love it, how we as women can simplify life into pages to be easily understood by any hands it passes through. For me and my sister and whoever else read like us to not put the book down until finished, halfway through or a really good dent in the 800+ pages of the book. To not even know time was passing in human life but only in the book however fast or slow time seems to pass in the pages.
To captivate me to the point where when I finished book three of Twilight which ended on a note I didn't like to be in a mini depressed state until I bought and started reading the fourth and final book. To the point where I read the third book of Harry Potter OVER to understand the fourth one. To the point where I bribed my sister into telling me key points no matter how it fastforwarded the story because my throat was stuck, heart beating right out of my chest and my emotions taking over like a bad wave to a broken boat.
Though I wasn't the type to get read books when I was little in bed, I wouldn't mind reading books to my children (ew way to far) but for real, I am determined to write a book as addictive, heart pounding and tenaciously breath-taking as the ones I have come across in my lifetime. I still remember such books as Bad Monkey by Matt Ruff, Catalyst by Laurie Halse Anderson and even Sex, Murder and a Double Latte by Kyra Davis which my mom undecided about because of the title.
It's rather funny when I could have went in the direction of Jerome Dickey and onlyyyy Black Expression Books, I instead ventured off into the book section that was way too big for me. No pictures here or pages torn out and no more food and other questionable mysterious imprints on these pages! Just all book! I do sort of miss library books though, St. Albans Library, Queens Library the one in Elmont off Merrick Blvd, the smell of used books!!!! Aw Queens!
But back on subject. =) Because I choose the route of abnormal books or just books people wouldn't always pick up, I got the book that a year later became best selling book of the year, the gold retriever that wasn't all the way out the box yet, the treasures in the midst of trash and I was determined to be as intriguing as the minds who developed those books. ___________________ by Nicole Ayilola
With by bio on the slip of my harder cover book adorned by awards and appraisal by the New York Times and everyone else!
I will one day...
live__gold
Not today ugh! He told me he is currently talking to someone...Take back the ugh, so my feelings aren't entirely put out there. Im absolutely happy, that he's happy. While texting my response back to him however, a pit grew in my stomach and I soooo wasn't feeling the text anymore. I hate those love stories (trust me not hinting at anything like that) but when they blow something off as if it doesn't hurt them and the person goes on with their life. Only if they would have told them how much they meant to them and just let them in on a portion of their feelings things would have worked out differently.
Not saying that anyone would change and I'm not currently or at all for that matter become the love of his life but feelings this way.. Is that a true friend to be sort of unrealistically happy yet cautioned and very surpised so that what I really want to say is sort of frosted over? If that made ANY sense I hope you know where I'm coming from now. I'm a REALIST, I stay positive throughout the day but prepare myself for the worst which so far has never happened. This incident hit close to home and I'm wondering.. why is my throat dry? I feel like I have to swallow a tennis ball deep in my chest and my eyes are watering and burning like cutting onions. I'm not going to cry.... oh! There you go.. just had to blink. I forget sometimes.. JOKE! Well since that situation won't resolve itself I can only depend on life's time, practice and effort and realize how many people in the world I haven't met yet that are compatible, will hurt me and ultimately make me stronger. Especially since again in two years I plan on attending Howard and then graduate school (which preferably is not a HBCU) Wait!!! Before you judge. lol I just need diversity I liked that about VOX (the teen newspaper I wrote for), I LOVE that about the world and it is my main reason for begging my mom to let me travel soon in the future (yay!) I would have went to two HBCUs by the time I graduate Howard. geeeez! What a way to climb to the top!
Part II
My Blatant Addiction
I've been reading Twilight.. Lets say since this year BEFORE the movie came out before I knew I was going to see it, but certainly not before they started producing it.... hmmm I wonder when exactly. Well anyways, I'm on the fourth book.
I don't want to force you to read the book but if you do like a book that is page-turning, bonds you to the book, the characters and the world they live in so much so that you wish the book was reality even with all the problems then this is the book for you.
If you want a book that IS better, dear I say than ALL Harry Potter Books then yes Twilight is for you. Trust, I was on team Harry before I actually read the book because The Harry Potter series was good as well and they satisfied me with only seven books (like thats not a lot!!! Hundreds if not thousands of pgs per book). They're like fairy tale bibles in a way. The two books together both authors are females, not trying to empower my sex in anyway but YES! I love it, how we as women can simplify life into pages to be easily understood by any hands it passes through. For me and my sister and whoever else read like us to not put the book down until finished, halfway through or a really good dent in the 800+ pages of the book. To not even know time was passing in human life but only in the book however fast or slow time seems to pass in the pages.
To captivate me to the point where when I finished book three of Twilight which ended on a note I didn't like to be in a mini depressed state until I bought and started reading the fourth and final book. To the point where I read the third book of Harry Potter OVER to understand the fourth one. To the point where I bribed my sister into telling me key points no matter how it fastforwarded the story because my throat was stuck, heart beating right out of my chest and my emotions taking over like a bad wave to a broken boat.
Though I wasn't the type to get read books when I was little in bed, I wouldn't mind reading books to my children (ew way to far) but for real, I am determined to write a book as addictive, heart pounding and tenaciously breath-taking as the ones I have come across in my lifetime. I still remember such books as Bad Monkey by Matt Ruff, Catalyst by Laurie Halse Anderson and even Sex, Murder and a Double Latte by Kyra Davis which my mom undecided about because of the title.
It's rather funny when I could have went in the direction of Jerome Dickey and onlyyyy Black Expression Books, I instead ventured off into the book section that was way too big for me. No pictures here or pages torn out and no more food and other questionable mysterious imprints on these pages! Just all book! I do sort of miss library books though, St. Albans Library, Queens Library the one in Elmont off Merrick Blvd, the smell of used books!!!! Aw Queens!
But back on subject. =) Because I choose the route of abnormal books or just books people wouldn't always pick up, I got the book that a year later became best selling book of the year, the gold retriever that wasn't all the way out the box yet, the treasures in the midst of trash and I was determined to be as intriguing as the minds who developed those books. ___________________ by Nicole Ayilola
With by bio on the slip of my harder cover book adorned by awards and appraisal by the New York Times and everyone else!
I will one day...
live__gold
9.9.09
No Weave No Glory!
So tyra did a segment on weave on her show and actually showed herself weaveless and might I say I WAS preparing myself for the worst... BUT
All is well!
She has a big forhead like we all imagined but her hair is healthy a good length and pretty color/tone that most of her frequently worn lace front wigs are anyways. I love that on her show no matter how unoriginal her topics seem to be she seems to be real about what she does put out there.
Here is her video with her real hair!
Tyra's hair styled =)
What do you think?
All is well!
She has a big forhead like we all imagined but her hair is healthy a good length and pretty color/tone that most of her frequently worn lace front wigs are anyways. I love that on her show no matter how unoriginal her topics seem to be she seems to be real about what she does put out there.
Here is her video with her real hair!
Tyra's hair styled =)
What do you think?
6.9.09
Hometown Glorified
Do we like these??
Maybe with an outfit along the lines of...
or even with pants instead of the slingback wooden heels I have on here...
But anywho! How was your weekend?
I'm actually headed back to school tomorrow and... I'm torn! Im going to miss my room my house, my MOM
(I know, this was at the Carribean Festival Sunday which was okie OVERPRICED but okie none the less!)
and my dog Miley..
(lets not forget atl in general). Absoluely no comparison to any part in SC, ugh! But I make it work as always! My weekend has actually been pretty good.
Was with Danny from FAMU for most of it (Had to wear my would-have-been schools' hoodie!.. psst!).( Excuse the largeness of the photos you get the gist!) =) We enjoyed ourselfs though, had a drink or two, ate out visited famous Stonecrest =/ lol. I ACTUALLY planned to spend this weekend with the people I came down with.. but I guess that was a sign...
I actually cant wait to get back to school to make sure my schedule will be in order because I'm pretty sure Ill be an extra busy freshman!
ATTENTIONPLS!!
SOMETHING THAT WORKS BEYOND MEASURE FROM:
Its like magic, magic lotion. SO light Itsnot even there. Oh! Can you hear me? I sound like a commercial. This is the next step to no makeup ever! But really use your fingertips on problem areas and BLAM! Flawless skin
And its 50% water. WOW. I bought it a couple days ago and have been in love ever since. Best Maybelline product I've used so far. Try the shade closest to you, it'll do the rest!
Enjoy!
Remember live_gold
love nik_gold =)
3.9.09
SepSeptemberber
I don't walk alone on campus much. That'll change, I realized Im in college and I'd rather have people think I'm older than younger. I'm in college and wanted to take pix of my many outfits but realized I have nooooo time, NO time. I'm in college and realized I'm on my own. Noone will look out for me, even though the school is small noone is going to say, "Hey where is Nicole?"
I can stop being so damn friendly to people, Orientation week is over. My morning texts will still vibrate through people's phone in the morning just for the fact that it centers me too. Im gonna stop hanging out with the same people, they're cool and be my sisters for the rest of the year because theyre so damn cool but I got to open my circle more or I'll die, yes even to boys. Im srry but doing this radio thing I need to make way more male friends then the ones I think are gay but can't completely dress so I'm utterly confused on their sexually preference...
On the topic on sexes...
Even though I may think people can see through my facade of being very self concious I'll have to get over that because time is money and I've wasted the past 3 weeks being Nicole instead of Nik_gold. Nik_gold is going to conquer this campus. Small little Claflina and I thought I could make it to Howard, thank the Lord Jesus I differed that acceptance. Im about to hulu Wendy Williams and Chelsea Handler, take a double dosage of my happy pills wish I had some to chase it down ( I kid) maybe not but who cares! I do. I haven't been to a party since I've been here. Everyone else has had an outlet and Im preparing byself to stay in SC for labor day... UGH! But maybe not.. there are some concerts going on, and you all know Id rather over dress then under.
Im also going to be more confident, that includes the traveling on my own because I guess people are scared, defensive of some people I walk with, w.e just expand my friend circle or whatever, but Ill be strong if their 3 wk friendship falls through. Example A: I met this tour guide in May when I initionally came and dont get the thought in your mind he is worth a blog he is just an example at how loose my networking skills are I cant be nice Nikki all the time I gotta sink my teeth into some people and let them know... Cause aparently they don't be knowing. (ew) lol
Forreal thoe!
Now tomorrow I got to get my ish in order I cant be walking around campus like Madonna without a head or Angela Jolie without a cause!!!
First Step: Deep, hot soothing shower... in the community shower providing by Claflin of course. =)
Live_gold
I can stop being so damn friendly to people, Orientation week is over. My morning texts will still vibrate through people's phone in the morning just for the fact that it centers me too. Im gonna stop hanging out with the same people, they're cool and be my sisters for the rest of the year because theyre so damn cool but I got to open my circle more or I'll die, yes even to boys. Im srry but doing this radio thing I need to make way more male friends then the ones I think are gay but can't completely dress so I'm utterly confused on their sexually preference...
On the topic on sexes...
Even though I may think people can see through my facade of being very self concious I'll have to get over that because time is money and I've wasted the past 3 weeks being Nicole instead of Nik_gold. Nik_gold is going to conquer this campus. Small little Claflina and I thought I could make it to Howard, thank the Lord Jesus I differed that acceptance. Im about to hulu Wendy Williams and Chelsea Handler, take a double dosage of my happy pills wish I had some to chase it down ( I kid) maybe not but who cares! I do. I haven't been to a party since I've been here. Everyone else has had an outlet and Im preparing byself to stay in SC for labor day... UGH! But maybe not.. there are some concerts going on, and you all know Id rather over dress then under.
Im also going to be more confident, that includes the traveling on my own because I guess people are scared, defensive of some people I walk with, w.e just expand my friend circle or whatever, but Ill be strong if their 3 wk friendship falls through. Example A: I met this tour guide in May when I initionally came and dont get the thought in your mind he is worth a blog he is just an example at how loose my networking skills are I cant be nice Nikki all the time I gotta sink my teeth into some people and let them know... Cause aparently they don't be knowing. (ew) lol
Forreal thoe!
Now tomorrow I got to get my ish in order I cant be walking around campus like Madonna without a head or Angela Jolie without a cause!!!
First Step: Deep, hot soothing shower... in the community shower providing by Claflin of course. =)
Live_gold
25.8.09
21.8.09
20.8.09
Mogul business
I am in love with selections from people's outfits that make a statement or STATEMENT PIECES. Fall is on its way and becoming professional for college or even work is a good look.
So I was browsing on my favorite fashion blog
and something blue, new and *wonderful* popped up. An updated pic slip on fashion items to help you become a MOGUL or at least look like one!
C'N'C' COSTUME NATIONAL Womens' suit $490 $196
Satin platform pump $59 $44
Boyfriend Blazer $120 – Topshop
Inheritance Pencil Skirt $88 $49.99
Nyla Sage Zipper Flower Platform Pump $105 $79.95
Two-tone sleeveless sheath dress SALE $49–54
Lip Gloss- Juicy Peach .5 oz. $7 – Macy's
Longchamp 'Le Pliage - Mini' Two Tone Tote $98 – Nordstrom
Zebra Trench Coat $34.80 – Forever 21
Seychelles On The Wire Suede Platform Pump $110 $69.95
L'Oreal Light Softening Blush $11.99 – Ulta
LOVE MOSCHINO Capes $130 – Yoox
Sequin Chain Bracelet $58 – Nordstrom
Givenchy Eyebrow Show Powdery Eyebrow Pencil $22 – Sephora
LIVIANA CONTI Capes $112 – Yoox
Lauren by Ralph Lauren Hammered Hoop Earrings $32 – Nordstrom
Think ahead! Fashiontrends waits for noone! Develop your own unique style and work with it!!!
They Have!
So go forth fellow fashion shoppers and do wonders with this deals under $200!!
So I was browsing on my favorite fashion blog
and something blue, new and *wonderful* popped up. An updated pic slip on fashion items to help you become a MOGUL or at least look like one!
C'N'C' COSTUME NATIONAL Womens' suit $490 $196
Satin platform pump $59 $44
Boyfriend Blazer $120 – Topshop
Inheritance Pencil Skirt $88 $49.99
Nyla Sage Zipper Flower Platform Pump $105 $79.95
Two-tone sleeveless sheath dress SALE $49–54
Lip Gloss- Juicy Peach .5 oz. $7 – Macy's
Longchamp 'Le Pliage - Mini' Two Tone Tote $98 – Nordstrom
Zebra Trench Coat $34.80 – Forever 21
Seychelles On The Wire Suede Platform Pump $110 $69.95
L'Oreal Light Softening Blush $11.99 – Ulta
LOVE MOSCHINO Capes $130 – Yoox
Sequin Chain Bracelet $58 – Nordstrom
Givenchy Eyebrow Show Powdery Eyebrow Pencil $22 – Sephora
LIVIANA CONTI Capes $112 – Yoox
Lauren by Ralph Lauren Hammered Hoop Earrings $32 – Nordstrom
Think ahead! Fashion
They Have!
So go forth fellow fashion shoppers and do wonders with this deals under $200!!
18.8.09
Number 1
this video is hot!. Keri Hilson is on point with style and R.Kelly with his glitter jaket. R.I.P Micheal
Overall very niceee (spotted R.Kelly fade Mohawk.) Are we trying to turn back the yrs??
Overall very niceee (spotted R.Kelly fade Mohawk.) Are we trying to turn back the yrs??
31.7.09
Micros
Im dying out here!
So I watching Paris' show Its Paris, Not France and I was actually going to cry during this show because my mom is leaning towards Claflin U because they gave me another scholarship ... (why can't she work that magic over at Howard???)
Well anyways I was scared of losin gmy friends but then was like (wah??) friends would mind if they havent talked to you in a couple weeks or if you deleted your myspace, facebook and only twittered once a week.
I finally got inkie winkie on the phone and felt much better. Im blessed. People can be so happy when they have nothing (well not so much have nothing to lose) but more of a have nothing left type situation.
Relating back to Paris.. she was talking about the sex tape and how it affected her greatly because she wasnt 19 like they thought she was.. in fact she was around 16ish...
wtf????
and how she cried calling the boy begging him to not put the sex tape out there. But he was like eff it money is money...
andddd how her friends knew he was getting that close because he knew she was going to be famous one day and apparently wanted something of a leverage base.
what a bitch.
well she has the same procrastinations most of us have.. friends, what they think about me and money. Not much concern in the money department but friends and what they think about me are definetly highlighted to a microscopic level..
But newho Im out and about, taking out my micros but now about to hit the road and pick up mom from work, tomorrow i believe will be glorious. =) Only if I add this downtown thing with my riders lmbooooo
ohh lord so my plan is to be very grateful and appreciative of what I have.. and smile. Why the heck not???
So I watching Paris' show Its Paris, Not France and I was actually going to cry during this show because my mom is leaning towards Claflin U because they gave me another scholarship ... (why can't she work that magic over at Howard???)
Well anyways I was scared of losin gmy friends but then was like (wah??) friends would mind if they havent talked to you in a couple weeks or if you deleted your myspace, facebook and only twittered once a week.
I finally got inkie winkie on the phone and felt much better. Im blessed. People can be so happy when they have nothing (well not so much have nothing to lose) but more of a have nothing left type situation.
Relating back to Paris.. she was talking about the sex tape and how it affected her greatly because she wasnt 19 like they thought she was.. in fact she was around 16ish...
wtf????
and how she cried calling the boy begging him to not put the sex tape out there. But he was like eff it money is money...
andddd how her friends knew he was getting that close because he knew she was going to be famous one day and apparently wanted something of a leverage base.
what a bitch.
well she has the same procrastinations most of us have.. friends, what they think about me and money. Not much concern in the money department but friends and what they think about me are definetly highlighted to a microscopic level..
But newho Im out and about, taking out my micros but now about to hit the road and pick up mom from work, tomorrow i believe will be glorious. =) Only if I add this downtown thing with my riders lmbooooo
ohh lord so my plan is to be very grateful and appreciative of what I have.. and smile. Why the heck not???
30.7.09
Smells Summer Baked to me!
Summer is almost over (for me at least) and I must say Ive done a lot.. In Georgia at least. I partied chilled, slept over, had people sleep over, did mad college stuff (and is currently still mourning on the fact that Oprah is not trying to help a sister afford Howard) so Valdosta I go, though I did enjoy the dorm waiting list. I got drunk...? high? nah....umm lol But i most definetly had fun whatever I got into got so much clothes and more coming for freshman year but Ill be regs. cause there is no best dressed in college (But I cant help it!).
OHHH MY TATTOO!
BEFORE...
*AFTER* *- -*
(!)
Nik_gold has learned to be a little more ascertive and directed through her sisters current situation she has learned to take no bs and is still learning not to let ignorant nincumpoops run over me (this is only extended towards friends who do to00o much) .
Ive grown closer to the Lord and most definetely feel blessed and as a direct encouragement on life. Im listening to the Howards lil affinity music for their freshmans |=( ugh!!
But anywho I can't wait until school starts. I know im going to get home sick and miss Miley but Im ready for it, Im ready to meet new people to be put in situations and land on top, to earn and develop my own grown women mentality and independence. Im ready to get back to dancing while staying focused on school work and getting my car in MARCH. That is all I want from my father.. Its too late for him to be a dad to me, I trully believe and in March too late for him for him to help me financially and my mom is apparently okay with that, i just want that car!!
I also need these micros outt!! I dont see myself starting the epitomy of adult life (college!!) with 3 month old threatening to become mini-dread micros! I need a texturizer, I want/need to be even more exotic and ecletic in the best way from everyone my age and at any moment in time. Im not going to be in the same mindset as other freshmans unless theyre talking about money, connections and future adventures.
Im ready, willing and able!
oh btw Im transferring to Howard ater 2 yrs andd...
Live_gold
16.7.09
Casting Me
The wind howls at me with great fear.
Its my friend I think.
Constantly there, deep blue passion wrapped with silk n cotton eyes.
Gently swaying me to the beat of liquid cement.
Casting my shadows with special apperances of the the glowing bulb and gentle lit candle.
Its my friend I believe.
I sway my lengthened palms and deliver myself to the howling breeze.
Its my friend I think.
Constantly there, deep blue passion wrapped with silk n cotton eyes.
Gently swaying me to the beat of liquid cement.
Casting my shadows with special apperances of the the glowing bulb and gentle lit candle.
Its my friend I believe.
I sway my lengthened palms and deliver myself to the howling breeze.
14.7.09
Summer 09
So this summer has been undescribable ever since last yr.. wow like its been a decade i have tried to make every vacation memorable to the point where I would have to reflect on it on my empty moments during the school season. However there are consequences. Smh. Id rather consequences then pure ultimate boredom in its true grey form..
I have a dog now.
Thats a positive change. =)
Her name is Miley
pic post coming soon!!
tweet me twitter.com/nik_gold
I have a dog now.
Thats a positive change. =)
Her name is Miley
pic post coming soon!!
tweet me twitter.com/nik_gold
29.6.09
flower me
relations from the past.
making the future a little cloudy
burnt roses spraying the cement i drizzle on
two feet of grey covered in heart blooded strays
i just started with life
dont damage the grounds i glaze over.
making the future a little cloudy
burnt roses spraying the cement i drizzle on
two feet of grey covered in heart blooded strays
i just started with life
dont damage the grounds i glaze over.
26.6.09
8.6.09
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