the REAL of "super"stars

Whats been happening underneath Rihanna's umbrella?? Disclosed sources have said that she contracted the disease herpes from a person left unknown, passed it on to R&B artist Chris Brown and this is why over the past couple of weeks their relationship has been unsteady.

Whatever the case female bashing is not the answer. The day of the grammy's approximately 12:30 someone who heard Rihanna (Robyn Fenty) screaming and not crys' of joy from her runnin man but of pain. What could make this relationship fall from the pedestal from which we have all put it on? One whole year and a couple of bad weeks can ruin it all.

Chris Brown later that day turning himself in on domestic abuse charges at 6:34pm to Los Angelos Police and bail set at 50,ooo which duh, he posted. But still not the point if I were to decide in my dramatic fantasy little head. .... Rihanna got Herpes (please nothing worse) from one of her little white jigga boos (and please not jigga boo!!) and recieved herpes in which she didnt know at this point went back to chris told him and this is where there faultiness started flarring. Though I would have waited until after the grammys for this.

I dont know man! From the abuse it could be rough sex gone arwy. Bite marks, the face bruises could have been the headboard from earlier IDONTKNOW I DONT KNOW. I hope its not an ike and tina not that it efffects my life maybe the sale of doublemints and a lot of umbrellas...

On the other hand..

Is she the kind of women to let this happen? It was only a year relationship not set in stone (star tattoos) but who knows this doesnt have to be the first beating. Cause trust sources say she was WHOPPED like a whopper (i know corny) but she better not pull a taylor swift and write a song about everything then fall back.

I was never a fan of men younger I dont know always felt like there was a compliance in just that mild gesture. Whatever the case because I am not living his or her life for them I hope all is well and Chris Brown's mother prays really hard we all know his doublemint commercial has already been pulled.

On the topic of superstars on superficial pedestal.
Micheal Phelps!!
Mr. Weedies!!




Alex Rodriguez is over here lying in his apologies.. its okie though thats why Madonna dropped you for JESUS... Jesus Luz 21 year old male model to be exact. But dont worry just keep doing your spot-off interviews and suming up your words in a steroids went to my head way... i guess.





until more news breaks the everydays bluessss.
I told you these people are too regular stop putting them up there and then expecting miracle-type results... noone is perfect not even Beyonce sad to say. =(


ha hah hahahahahha gets me EVERytIMEEE!! lol

Other Sources; tmz.com people. com, google imagesss


live _gold. =)

Awesome performance w. labor standard

Month of Love

SO celebrate this month of love here are just a few things that bring love into my life. =)












this week is one busy week
and i should be updating with what FEB is REALLY about BLACK HISTORY...
so for now =)

Live _gold.

jealously

so today i found out i was a jealous
person
someone with flaws inabilities and casalities.

i hate it. lol
ill get over it in a couple days

=/
=)

Goin in for L-O-V-E

This is a poem I wrote the other day about these feelings that were growing on me,

Opinions deflect us with dichotomy
Sunrise beats the clouds epiphany
Only seas survive with the energy of my black atomic bomb

It shall never be odd the beating of two hearts equaling one
Or one sun is chased by the darling moon
Starry eyed night paints irregularities in my heart’s deepest treasure chest

Our love over the crowds unbarring eyes
Unraveling in pursuit of a jealous mother
Ever changing love induced spear of leeway

Argue to behold a common peace
As we sit fighting each other’s perpetual stare
My heart degrades the red pumping with venom

Your fondness penetrates my eager superstitions
Molded ink tales run chapters in my own atrocious wit
Can’t let myself fare too remote

So kiss, these frosted engines of lust filled gratitude
Sunday inspired dignity
Too carry in guests of accompany and merriment

So we shall walk naked on the sharpest of seashells
Obscure sunset with brisk brown wind
Tinkling the nape of our dazed ankles

In our tears rejoined
With purple lubricants of dynasty and everlasting affection
Two hearts to fill one body in motion of the deep blue sea


Nik_gold
01/05/09

Your bliss in this year will not be self consciously dismissed*

Lets start a new =) (my terrified face her funny one)

My longest blog title so far. But i mean it.
This year we cannot dismiss our hopes and dreams to achieve common and under the limit goals.
Undermining our boundaries, capabilities and aimless titles of reconstruction.
We can do it all we say to ourselfs the first fresh and innocent days of the new year.
The first couple of months in our positively dandy resumes and attitudes fly out the dusty and used window along with our resoulutions of helplessly losing those few added pounds and/or moving up on the social/ career path.

Its been a year since ive been a common blogger. Blogging about things that come to mind and trigger a response throughout my mundane day.
What ive learned is that the response to words such as these are not just a product of the person saying them but what the words actually mean to those read and comprehend the written notions of them.
A universal soundtrack of love, hate and or understanding.
Some words are even the direct contact of us being vessels for the highest one above.
His love our written syllables so when we breathe we dismiss ashes of death.
the unassumed responsibility of the mind to cope with indifferences in the world and the constant search of comparisons between decent human beings.

I love the constant motion of the life the ups AND downs. The downs just because without them we wouldnt know the true meaning of a high.
I know its disgustingly random but My mind wonders to the themes of my expressions when thinkng about why I write them.

On to a familiar topic on New Years. WHy make resolutions when you end up breaking them two to three weeks in? How about striving not to break the resolutions you would of have if you actually made them. Or just striving to be all you can be like the army without being in the army.
Which reminds me I would have loved to be at the inauguration but because of a improvident mother and a tendency to let things slide to the "back-burner" I will be home and or in school occuring my time. Life lessons...

We shall see how this first week of my graduation, evolving, maturing, loving, caring, providing, progressing year goes.


live GOLD

Big-Rate-Fool-For-See-Son

okie but its close to Brittney Spears song title, "IF YOU SEEK AMY"
Figure that one out.

But just a topic Be greatful for the season
and appreciative.

Its the end of the year and just thinking about all the things shows the growth of the person.
Just cant wait to start a new on the next one.


My own canvas.

God loves me...

"Attention, lovers of pink lace and leopard print and frilly frocks and pretty party dresses: Betsey Johnson probably, most likely, pretty much definitely, is coming to a Target near you next fall! Get the full scoop, after the jump." (Glamour.com)

-nik_GOLD

LoveDoesntLiveHere

I dont want to be that hopeless lover blindlessly loving someone who only half way loves them back.

I dont want to be cheated on and mistreated but still run back with open arms and two black eyes and symphilis and clemedia and 8 different types of std's.

I dont want to be lonely because my supposed "man" is on the phone with another.

I dont want to fall in love and simply just fall...

Love is too risky
Just not for me I guess.
Thats why I choose to be single and the true flirt until someone is safe enough to take it with me.
The pill of trust
cause Im not going in with a full heart next time or leaving with half of one.

Confused?
Love is nor longer living in my heart only calculating in my brain
So shrunken and dismissed they called me HEARTLESS.

Sunday Nights

(just dandy face*)

i just had a dejavu
But instead of a sad lonely depressing one like I would think knowing the situation im in

It was a self renewing one
One that made me think everythings going to be fine.

For some reason I just know God's behind it.
or myself before this life. (get it?=))

either way it made my raggidy A night.

LIVE GOLD. =)

Hope in moderation;;

So we finally have the president all (most) of us have been waiting for. Some change in our lives that noone can take away (hopefully not another Kennedy)...


Dont end something you believe will self distruct on its own.


On my point of view let the man run his full term. It took Bush two full terms to put us in this mess.


One term of positive reinforcement and changes for the better can only take us so far. We are in fact running this term only for the next one. It will take at least 8 years to rake up half the disorderly term oil we are (America) in now.





I always wanted a black president (Biracial can cut it)


Not just because Im black (but trust it has something to do with it)


But also


1. Now our little black boys and girls can have something to look up to. Cant make excuses now because we can make it every single one of us.


2. I dont want any negros running around the streets making havoc because they have a black (homeboy on their side now) but now we can run the streets afros and all ( what stopped us before?)


3. Color coding blacks even with the number of power blacks we have running all around the world. Still being judged on the few bad apples, every race has their bad examples.. We can cope with ours and plant seeds so our young never turn out the same rotten types.





I always wanted a black president for our past.


We came from the cement to create and form a true rose.


Someone that can see the world for the many points of view.


Someone with untainted aspects of the world and doesnt mind letting his fellow Americans know, you know hey guys we have a real problem here, instead of dragging us around like blind mice on leashes.


I want to be fed the truth no matter how bitter sweet it is.





I know I am young, heck I didnt even get to vote. But just knowing a presidential candidate got the most young adults (college students and youth etc) to come out and vote period made my year and years to come. Making changes and he wasnt even elected president yet.





And I can go on with a didactic speech on why if I was 18 I would have voted Obama but who else would have most grey states (indecisive states) voting blue (Democrats).





Only 12 percent of America is Black and to have over 90 percent of your own peoples vote's is miraculous, even more because he was not like Al Sharpen (depending on the negro vote to win).... cause you wont win. It was his own mothers line (Caucasian, clear, white) including the mass majority people of all ages, ehtinicites, backgrounds, the common man, the needy man, the dependent man to come out and vote.


When do we all pick the work over the play??


When the vast majority likes what it offers, the after affects and can live with it everyday of the next four years.


When we know the outcomes and possibilties of what could happen would be positive because we worked every day... just wooww


all of that holiday time, time off because we worked hard and didnt give in (impeachment?, pleasee)





For some reason God didnt give a doubt in my mind that McCain would win, and I was fine with it. Knowing who my leader would be, who would be making the changes for the next four years on health care, education and most importantly the economy.


The sun shone brighter the next morning.


Next to everyone showing their full out for support for Obama.


It was wonderful





A question though..


Who will stand behind him when the economy starts to bail (even more than it is now)?


When the changes are coming too slowly and we, the people are becoming impatient?


Are we still going to be the same Obama supporters we were when he was elected?


Have the same views and opinions the day he was inaugurated?


Be the same fan of change and progression the day his first bill came out?





Or





Will we turn on him like Aubrey from Danity Kane?


Banish him like Janet from the Superbowl?


Dismiss hims like tomatoes in the Salmonella scare?





I wont


I really wont not when he showed his true colors from the start and never wavered nor backed down when a stern hand stood in his way.


Who else then Obama to bring us through the storm.. the same ol Bush-fan-retired- republican cant no matter how many votes you try and cheat states you try and win.


Its always darkest before the light.


And wouldnt you want to see such a change with a man such as Obama?


Tell you grandchildren how a change did come and you were there to stand by its side and see its plans pull through.


Believe in C*O*h*B*a*A*n*M*g*A*e


A change is worth living for dont you think?








CHANGE

Lucky Valentine

October so far.. has been a marvelous month.
Sure the work I have been drowning in only seems to multiply but career wise and friend wise...


WOW

can you have a sisters back or what?
REGRET NOTHING

oh yeah and I have boyfriend(s) now, =)

NO ONE can stop me hahahaha TAKING over the world!
boy golly gee(v.p debate<<<, did you watch)
I miss that show (pinky and the brain)

well im off for now.
Going to watch Apocalyto again

3 things I wish could change
mom pay the heat bill so I can take warm showers again
mom pay the phone bill so the phone wont cut off in the middle of my convo
I didnt have something annoying lodged in my eye.

This week is spirit week at school or homecoming,,,, whatever the case may be expect pictures and lots
MONDAY>> celebrity day_ me myself and i. never went to rehab

Ps. Im out
God Bless =)

Drifting joy//Deadly venom =X

when good things go you hold on tighter??


well I let it go
that old saying if you trully love it let it go and if it comes back its true?


well when it flies back I still dont have a grip nor do I want one
no thats a bold face lie
Its just about being comfortable with it
Dont want to feel sick deep loving into it.
Something that close to you can surely harm you....
eh.//

so for me the next step isnt loving but trust making
no
im not talking about catch-me excercises.
im talking about true life and whatever garbage is thrown your way trust.

when that test is passed its freedom and bliss
something my butt cant dismiss

you can deny lust but never true blue love

Just waiting to travel up the hood path with extra leverage of experience and Godly knowledge.
=)
that would be greeaaaaaaaaaaaaattt.

--The coming attraction
WHAT, the main feature.
SO thick will ability
Is it in your facilty?--

arugala

why do people always find a way to make you miserable?

And I find myself always stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
Drama always finds me at the most awkward moment in time but I must say it isnt as bad as it could be because I rarely get drama,.

But ill pray on it.
Gnite.

Rubberband Stand influences the Wooden Straws.

Just thought that you should know.
That since youve been in my life
Everything I thought was right.
Is
Wrong.

The lyrics of the night.
Dedicted to that special noone.

Right now im in a dilemna.
Trying to cut off dead strings of friendships/relationships that arent getting me anywhere,
Probably motivated by the sudden spark of interest in ... uh dessert. caramel dessert to be exact.
=P
but on a serious note.
Friends with bad motivations who always want you to tag along arent friends at all.

And friends who are more persistant then you to chill etc arent friends but groupies,
Hence the no acquaintances in those sentences.

Groupies_
Plan and simple

Off for my entertainment of the night.

sweet tongue me

so the usual response I get when I tell people im a virgin is... "o wow, seriously?"

the usual response when I tell people I never.. ever had a boyfriend is.... "what? whyyy?"

quite simply because theres no need for one.

Yeah ive been through the whole "friends with benefits" thingy and look wheres that has gotten me.

I mean im a virgin so quite raw-ly theres no putting out, giving in OR letting go. I have it until im married no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Secondly were on the phone for ends on the time... k thats surely going to fade away because I get bored with people easily.

So you know where I live and paid for my movie before.... thats what friends do when friends are broke...

Is this cruel?

I doubt it, this is why my heart has never been broken.. I have never put it out there.

And yes i have still experienced love in all its bliss but im to say the least not putting my neck out there for something that is not guarenteed to come back or even look back.

And sure ive had crushes .. but the moment I find a flaw its over I mean I might still crush a lil but your pedestal has been chopped to shreds you are now just a mere mortal with flaws, worries and anxietes... what a turn off!

I kid, I do, because finding the perfect person is impossible in mild words. I would hate a robot of a man to be always on time, always knowing what to say(aww_ puke*) and then trying to fix me. ME? I believe ill grow on my own please and thank-you.

But right now im interviewing for that first boyfriend position and ive got to be quite honest i will now be seperating my friends from more because the line has gotten as thick as gravy these past couple of weeks. But we shall see.... boyfriend necessity or nah??

Modern substitutes

I promise my titles will never mean anything but random glowy words that float into my head.

anywho

HOW ARE YOU??

Its been a while!!
and i've been sick (sad face here)

But since sick i've seen the world from a different point of view life is short as stated in previous blogs ( R.I.P Trevayne).

SOOooo Ive been more of myself.
Chipper outgoing caring funny goofy loving self.
People love it .. i don't see any objections
Even my teachers love it when i participate (they know its that or my heads down)
lol
What also has helped is my self esteem
I know nothing good would come of this shopping online but more clothes....
Well I have too much
omg I SAID IT
I haven't worn like 10 items but why rush it right?
Its not bad... I still dont have a pair of sneakes!
But also with the new clothes and glowing charisma (smh) i've gotten compliments boys and girls yippie!


Away from materialistic things!!

I handle tasks so much easier
go to sleep earlier so i function throughout the day.. less complaining when i go to dance and f.b.l.a meetings,

Or maybe its because Ive gotten to a point where its , if im not happy with who i am now and start making moves to catapult my career... when is the chance?


So here I am. Being all responsible.
Reading my bible
Responding to most of my messages (;-P)
Chilling with the partying etc,
My mind has to be right
Plus I was watching this guru program that triggered a verse i read in the bible
Ill come back for it!



kk well thats it.
lol Ive limited myself to a half hour
Oh snap!!
i gotta start writing my demonic complicated syrup dipped poems again (scholarships here!!!)


Goodnight/God Bless/ Live life!!!

nik_gold.

Wonderless Temptress

Sooo' im just here blessing my page

Galatians 2:12

Everything is going swell.
This week is college scholarship week =)
just trying to be a smart passionate youngster with potential.

I didnt order anything today =)

I am opening my social pattern .... not really caring (more*) who i hang out with (young&old, big or small*) as long as theyre goal and money oriented and faithful christians who dont bore me to death. Not too hard right?
Or you no what just not focusing on friends at all cause they could get in the way of what i am striving for (education and extracurricular activities and a meaningful relationship with GOD.*) and plus i have enough, so if you want to be one you really have to put yourself out there...
cause i am trying to catapult my career.
but i have to stand up for myself with my friend borrowing my clothes
cause quite frankly its annoying and i don't want to borrow her's =/

Cheetah
Cardigans
Skinny belts
and ankle boots are in

so jump on the bandwagon (don't*) smh
and mix up your style with your personality (do)

Have a great day/night
My music play list is slowly being taken over my wayne

Waiting for the video...
I listened to my Damien Marley album which i haven't in the longest.
Please check out his last album **
does wonders for the soul


Well i have school
So be blessed not stressed

nik_gold. =)

Mister Beasley

So i have some serious problems with this shopping online thing


First of all, im only on here because i took a nap from my last period class until i woke up around 8 at home..
(sorry to the people that passed me on my way home!*)
im a little.. umm lol inconsiderate when my eyes are literally half open.

And now thanks to my internal clock im craving bacon and eggs... yummm


So back to this online shopping, its my moms money im just SPENDING.
and DUH i know its wrong and credit money is the worst but tell my eyes that when they look and look at every skinny jeans and brand new stiletto shoe on the page.
Tell my mind that when it ponders on the many ways i could wear the clothing choice.
Tell my skin that when it yearns for the attention and neediness of being clothed in the best
AND tell my fingers that when they are entering the credit card number to complete the weekly process.

I do have a lot of clothes i must say.
I can only think of the ones recently purchased....most definetly cant remember the countless amount of jewelry i own so i circulate in the circle i know.
Its kind of scary, hopefully when i get my HELLO KITTY debit card next week i wont be recklessly trying to change my style and order 100 pairs of Jordans and recently released blazers... =X ahh!

UGHHH! i can see it now!
I need a job.. and for that.. where i live a car is needed..
=(
*gas
*economy
*insurance
ohh yeah ** license would be nice




SOOOO, i saw the Obama family on the cover of Essence and the first lady (almost) on the cover of Ebony*
I must say, they are quite a cute little picture family.
Little brown people with brilliant minds and winning personality qualities
ooo
and the ability to converse with a diversified crowd and still have a sense of who they are and where they come from!

All i want for Christmas!!
ISSS for Barack to be president..
Mexican vice??(freee gov cheeesee for all!! AND release borders!)

lol but also for him to run for a full term, no plots etc for a termination of this, no schemes to split the marvelous Brown family apart.
Just an honest in-control positively influenced and outcomed (a word?) term.
Everything cant be healed in one term but its enough for African American and Black immigrants.
HECK!
Anyone with extra Pigment in their skin to STAND up and say!! "SI SE PUEDE!!!"
=)
Just a wish,

And im off to do some work due thurs and TRYY so desperately hard to sleep
and pray for these addictions im developing so early in my life.
(hopefully i get my celly(??) back tomorrow!! )
I wasn't sneaky enough today!

(actually laughing out loud)
well until next time.

live it golden_
oHH and visit my myspace n stuff (myspace.com/na318)*****
(why did the delivery guy for pizza hut have the nerve (since i get pizza delivery like twice a week) im fat... but to the point... to give me his myspace numberrr everything!! lol.. like im NOT gonna order pizza friday!) come on!

KK IM LEAVING OFF
My sister bought a bed AND she has my debit card too!! =)

thee saddest post.

RIP Trevayne Cozart

wow, way too young.
whoaa
i just saw this boy the other day. =/
i wanted to talk to him but he past me and kept walking.


i didn't know much about him...

I did know he was chill, known and from Georgia'
He didn't seem to get in much trouble and now i feel so slow for not taking the time out to get to know him.

Not that there would be a difference in my sadness
A. Want to know someone but cant cause you waited too long and life is too short?
B. Know someone cherish them and have them taken away from you in a blink of an eye?

Not that i drink but if i did this would be the moment to do so.
Its crazy i never knew/spoke to anyone that passed before.
they say the best leave first**

live life n enjoy every moment,
please.

Fast

lets make this short cause moms coming home.
i miss textin ... my friend
school is tomorrow
i need to focus
and start reading my bible yet AGAIN
(when i neglected my phone i neglected my bible)


umm some picss

my friend is leaving 15th and left my house yesterday =(
** came out the womb myself so i can survive on my own** =/



me, bestie, dates hand =/.. her date is somewhere..

school n stuff,


why would they have the first day of school and senior pictures on the same day??????????
can anyone say ride??

pray for me*

fastinggg. cul8r. lol

Feeling ok?

i was sad yesterday now im coolin it. I used to be a text whore now my phone is dead and i just dont care... Sad to say everyone i need is here with me.
Everything else is FLUFF. Much WANTED fluff but its w.e
=)


thank GOD for besties, a bible and a pool to chillax.
Oh yeah and a car to drive. lol


hopefully ill find what im looking for.
Well im off to take a shower so here are some pics chix.

8am.

i cooked breakfast for my mom this morning. Could she not tell something was wrong? Or am i becoming a better actress? I didnt even put some food on the side for myself. (not hungry these past couple of days) O wells. I should be over this loving-affection giving syndrome in the next 2-3 days.

my fridge is packed these days, no room for extras!




school starts in 6 days.

Error: Message Could Not Be Sent, Try Again Later.

My mind runs around in forwarded messages complaining about the forwardees that reply. My fingers dangling off my board hopelessly waiting for a meaningful message but noone sends. My heart quivers with the thoughts of losing feeling, going numb, dumb, blinded, with that just smoked a blunt feeling.

Techno spirited but absentminded because I'm trying not to cry over the convos we could of had since two in the morn. my skin vibrates with sympathy with being a temptation unprescribed for and thus unwanted and unnecessary. When can i find my three am replyer, without female forwarders or in this case concubine texters, and after three years of comfort and relief im not fasted for like a bad drug...

They say life has its ups and downs like a roller coaster, a mistaken sent message, or even worse a love note with the wrong name. I must label this a down's down, labeled chill cause worse would be a resender in this weather when we all know you got the message.

Corona n lime*

Make me =) for a while.

enjoy-

mydrivethru


corona n lime


dont be shy



she loves everybody


finding my way back


before you were my man


i need you bad


more than friends