<3
17.6.10
16.6.10
Imposter; this isn't me!
I catch my self in the same repeat circles that are no doubt foreign to my character
being bored beyond measure with no help in sight
clinging to lifes boie like there is no tomorrow
and taking in the stabbing edges the salt waters reminder
I catch my self making moves too dangerous to self
constantly pricking myself with the threaded needle of life
dumbing myself down for the crowd I'm around
and when I'm happiest no one can supply I'm still paranoid
Instead of aborting and transitioning with the ship I'm on
I tend to keep sentimental items with me
helping me to fail even drowning my self while the once precious items are cast aways at sea
I see myself falling
I try and hold my chest together
the feeling two beats away from a volcanic explosion
short suttle breaths that tends to never fill up even a quarter of my lungs
that's when the tireless undeniable tears come, a friendly reminder that I'm human and worse I'm a girl, no matter how hard I fight them, feelings live, eat and breath with me.
I'm not heartless, I tend to be immune to bs, ignorant love and hesitant friends
I tend to not give a fuck but I'm working on that
because in some cases it's good to care.
Tender-heartedly, not this one
I fold my eyelids in half, closing out the liquid falicies that make me weak
the red inked sinking motion only tends to grasp the falling emotion in which I've cleverly become so good at
I'm tired of being the one adapting to changes
breathlessly decorated like a rag doll displayed limply in the rachet waves
The next dive I take will be led by me
pulling and pushing through it all to let a voice be heard that is rather easily provoked
the obnoxious and pusher youngin I once was full of sarcasm and play will forever hold a spot in my heart, for being true
being bored beyond measure with no help in sight
clinging to lifes boie like there is no tomorrow
and taking in the stabbing edges the salt waters reminder
I catch my self making moves too dangerous to self
constantly pricking myself with the threaded needle of life
dumbing myself down for the crowd I'm around
and when I'm happiest no one can supply I'm still paranoid
Instead of aborting and transitioning with the ship I'm on
I tend to keep sentimental items with me
helping me to fail even drowning my self while the once precious items are cast aways at sea
I see myself falling
I try and hold my chest together
the feeling two beats away from a volcanic explosion
short suttle breaths that tends to never fill up even a quarter of my lungs
that's when the tireless undeniable tears come, a friendly reminder that I'm human and worse I'm a girl, no matter how hard I fight them, feelings live, eat and breath with me.
I'm not heartless, I tend to be immune to bs, ignorant love and hesitant friends
I tend to not give a fuck but I'm working on that
because in some cases it's good to care.
Tender-heartedly, not this one
I fold my eyelids in half, closing out the liquid falicies that make me weak
the red inked sinking motion only tends to grasp the falling emotion in which I've cleverly become so good at
I'm tired of being the one adapting to changes
breathlessly decorated like a rag doll displayed limply in the rachet waves
The next dive I take will be led by me
pulling and pushing through it all to let a voice be heard that is rather easily provoked
the obnoxious and pusher youngin I once was full of sarcasm and play will forever hold a spot in my heart, for being true
13.6.10
Main Offstream Music
Wiz Khalifa;;
Favorite Part: “ Don’t watch me, watch Flava Love or something on tv, this is tv, nigga HD cant afford me- yeah”
Live:: Wiz Khalifa n Curren$y
Curren$y
First heard of him from ummmm, yeah lol but anyways about 3 years ago.
He grew on me and now is featured on my blog =]
He is not the cutest but his rapping is off the chain<< so Proper Also he is connected to Lil Wayne??? ** There is a story behind it;; I’d look that up if I were you =]
kk time to grub
Live_gold
12.6.10
Beauty is Rare when found upon rare Finds;;
So the last couple of days have went by without dates.
Confused beyond measure and saddened with no reason.
I took the time to write some random words on a piece of paper to keep me sane.
The following sums itself up:
Love
Life
Live
Self Worth
Selfish
Despair
Tired
Withdrawn
Energy
Family
Friends
$$$
Time
Effort
Value
Quality
Never ending
Sex
Claflin
Book
Knowledge
Power
Peasant
Queen
Me
I told myself to come down;; prayed and meditated since I had a major headache and couldn’t stand to be in front of my cpu. Another symptom of the past couple of days has been this annoying as* headache that doesn’t let me listen to my music as loud as I would like.
Mom sums it up to stress and tries to stuff herbal and lemon tea down my throat every quarter of a day.
I’ve just learned what the word chill means and the use of it.
“You can’t worry about the world and the changes to come;; they are not thinking about you.”
Live_gold
9.6.10
5.6.10
4.6.10
3.6.10
2.6.10
Nothing can Stop Me
I keep feeling this push against my spine
Push against time
Making my reality real and my dreams surreal
Falling back against time
And the truths and lies
Become black and white
Determined white trigger
Set off against time
I run to the sun
The only thing keeping me warm
In the frozen cold treats
Laced with death
Nothing can stop me I yell
Tripping and falling
Only to roll and run again
Nothing can stop me !
Tears running with the wind
Not you
Not you
Not her
Not him
Im running till the end
No end in sight
Black or white
This all feels right.
Nothing can stop me.
_gold 6/22/2010
Live_gold
1.6.10
Egg me Blue*
Once I saw the Beyonce video, “Why don’t you love me?” I knew I had to have the nail polish she adjourned throughout the video. I hastily put together one of my favorite (and recently purchased) true blue* nail polish and a strikingly white* polish and created it! I did not stop until I clogged my sink, had hands covered in all shades of blue and four empty bottles of nail polish.
I created…
I would describe it as an egg me blue and have gotten a lot of compliments on it. A little more Easter (just a bit) then what Beyonce wore in her video. (The color BTW is Chanel Nouvelle Vogue)**
I usually go with a French tip but always alternate something cool and funky in between fill-ins or on my natural nail. (No matter how brittle they are!)
At home mani’s and pedi’s do a lot.
I’m inspired by beautiful colors, not too distracting like neon or eccentric designs can be and I’m kind of over and grown out of the one finger design.
So I have been diligently searching for eye catching colors. I recently came across one at the beauty supply store but it was too FALL for me. (I’ll probably go back to purchase it)
This summer I see hair and nails as a motivating culprit in people’s appearances. Not only do you look cleaner but more put together when your hair, skin and nails are up to date.
I just started getting the hint of my life nails, and now go to get acrylic on them then do my own thing as far as color, when it grows out which it usually does in 4-6 weeks I keep shaving the acrylic down so it just a part of my nail, just stronger.
If you’re going to try this method be sure not to take the emery board to your own nail to often as this may make your own nail very tender and fragile.
Good luck***
Live_gold
The Thrill
Designs by nik_gold
I finally did it. All this talk and finally action*. Creating my first shirt by hand.
Its cropped and a wonderful print, I’m also making a fitted skirt too. I feel creatively fueled and passionate about what I’m doing. Once I finish thinking about one task three more ideas pop into my head.
I feel like I’m starting what I should have years ago. Like the life I’m living on the side of this one is past designing onto selling and buying and being halfway famous and boy o boy rich.
I have to stop thinking about the alternative life and live it. I already started I believe but honestly not without God’s help. Guidance and patience is needed in everything I have learned. Taking my time on one piece so it’s a quality piece and not a 99 cent store one.
I also made these pocahantas sandals I have ALWAYS wanted !!!!!
nik_gold fashion line fall 2010 is on its way. With statement pieces and classic wear, hopefully before I go back to school I will be selling to various people, even businesses.
Now until then time to wash and moisturize this hair..
I don’t mind thick hair as long as it looks healthy and right now it looks dry. In fact I miss my bowl cut from my freshman year, first semester. So I will wash deep conditions and leave in condition and curl. Don’t worry I have my heat protector, but most of all I need to feel that healthy body and movement then I’ll leave it alone for a week =]
Hair and clothes, shoes???
Eh, I’ll stick to aspiring to buy my first pair of christian louboutins. =]
That’s it for now, still job hunting and such, I need money to buy cloth!! Pray for me and mine, I pray for my readers =]
This is only a start.
live_gold
31.5.10
25.5.10
24.5.10
Going Au Natural
Not only have I thought about this for a duration but I’ve considered every action and reaction.
Quite frankly, why not?
I’ve done everything… not anything to my hair. But the usual, weave, braids, perm, press etc. Why not, live in the state my hair is naturally in? To be honest I will be blow drying and the usual flat iron for maintainability. But stepping away from the creamy crack many of us African American women have gotten to know as relaxer.
Referred to as “relaxer”, because it literally relaxes our natural “s” or “z” curled hair. Putting less chemical to the hair will not only strengthen but lengthen it. I for one cannot wait to see the transition. Waiting for the day when my hair is 50/50 relaxed than 100% natural so I can wet it moisturize and wear a full out afro!
With my tattoos in full glory =]
Until then were going to transition it using natural oils,
Castor Oil
Olive Oil
African Herbal Body/Hair Oil
Leave in Conditioners
Deep Conditioners
*Diet, Water/Protein
*Routine, wash once a week or once every two weeks [dirty scalps do not grow so more moisturizing to the hair, leaving the scalp breathable], always deep conditioned!
Also Mane and Tail* products leave my hair light and moisturized, just bought their heat protector yesterday which promises a strengthening and lengthening of the hair I am to say the least, excited !!!
[Curbing my enthusiasm]
I am also humbling myself and strengthening myself from the urge to throw some weave (16”) in that bad boy and call it a day.
And yes, I researched this stuff because I will NOT be looking like an unnamed professor @ my University who stays away from a hairdresser, perm and comb (?)
Nik_gold is officially taking it day by day with her hair, less heat and chemicals out and more nutrients, naturals and care in.
Officially, Going to be Puff ball head =]
live_gold
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