music for musiq

I knew she was a brunette. Lol
I like it love it
My whitish side of me.
kissed a girl



your so gay





long shot
once you like one you like them all. =]
well I did




omg flashback of t h e Y E A R!!!

i was 3 and giddy 0=]






Song of the year (last year)
0=] good times
I love her sound, vibe, aura


[liveee]


Adele Amy and Duffy =] help me sleep at night.
song in my head all day
cause I feel like im going through the motions

****

****

*************

****

************






On rotate on the ipod =]

when tears fall blind

photos//

i left my emotions in Gerogia

-ouch? feelings are for wimps ive always wanted to say that but not feel it always falling in traps not setting it not saying ive been an emotional reck with boys.. umm no thats why i dont do serious relationships but in peoples relations to me in general not trying to make more friends not caring its been heavy since i came to new york for the summer especially since mom didnt think about postponing my trip until people actually get out of school. see but im okie with that cause i dont care- kinda just nervous trying to fit everyone in my schedule (no lie) physically saying be here or ill be there etc. hurts.. my head so advil is my friend these days maybe thats why my emotions are being clouded by my medicated states. idk one way or another i realized i know even less than the less i know so im just sittin on sand waiting for a drop of rain smh kk my tiger striped nails (that i myself created) are irratating the hell out of me tapping against the keyboard and my half dressed picture on myspace got me more private mundane messages that are along the line "waddup sexci" smh than actual comments so im off the computer and hopefully a nap before dad over here tells me to wash more dishes or (animated) sis comes home and borrows more of my clothes she cant fit and jewelry i wont see again damnn. really left my emotions there huh?? -HEAVYGETAWAY

and yesterday was nice even though i know it wont happen again

lol especially with me leaving again but thats not that bad is it?

back to l.i to do absolutely nothing but hibernate and then georgia...GEORGIA.

nope, rings no bells.

helmethead&adoptedchild_

whatd u think? lol im bangin my grows out. lol (growin my bangs out)
o cheaa, def no make-up for summer cause its HOTTTT ^^^(nat-tu-ral)^^^
85 degress is not what it was 5 years ago. =0

meaningless..

i was sitting on my bed one day. Rudely awoken my my mom probably for something dumb and unreasonable, but when i was sitting there all these thoughts rammed them selfs into my head as big as it is. =]

And i got a headache.

But thats besides the point, I faced my mirror (which is adjacent) to my bed and asked myself, what have i done with my life? No seriously, I know what i haven't done, no kids, sex, drugs, gangs (lol me in a gang?? ) bad grades or w.e. But what have i done to leave my mark on the world, When I'm gone what will change? What will stay the same? Am I truly meaningless? Sure, some tears will fall but don't we have the same reaction when our favorite show ends or our pet dies? How do we truly measure our worth as a human being and more importantly what steps could I take that are efficient in striving to make a difference in this brutally-honest world...

Yeah that headache lasted for a minute..

But throughout the duration of the day I wondered would I be doing community service other than credits and would I have enough energy to change the world or more importantly the community i live in. If it was that easy wouldn't it have been done before, wouldn't i have heard of people who tried? Or is EVERYONE lazy, idle and uncaring??
What could I contribute?
My sarcastic remarks?
Ignorant and childish rants of insanity and neediness...
Do people really need to hear another teenage story to complicate and explain their lifes?


Well after hours of pondering and weighing the pros and cons of my existence
Ive decided I'm here for a reason only God knows and not me.. for a reason you see
For the lives we change if we knew the path we were to take would be much less than if we had no idea where to go
like blind mice in a cage, how much of a difference would we make, where would we travel and how many lives would we influence?
We wouldn't know until we threw on our kick em boots strap on our work belt and hit the road.
isn't it...
Life is like a box of chocolates.. You never know what your going to get?
Well yeah that sums up my rude awakening.

title wave.

lmao
its so weird cause i notice things i normally wouldn't since being in this broadcast journalism class

but both videos start off with linking shots then zoom in to the main focus.

**** the fact is the paris, tokyo video is newER, but song is sOoooo stupid old right now
lmao that was def on my page last year

and this has nothing to do with me being so music influenced... =X


ughh mom was playing Otis Redding in the car over and over and over and overrrrrr.
lol




On more curent news...

MY SISTER WENT BACK TO NEW YORK today!!
i feel like she left me like a piece of luggage (irony)
since i was ... lmaoo

but um yeah i ordered more clothes from wherever else? (forever21 145dinero) until h&m openes up. lol

and i also put in papers for forever and bakers the other day
then went back to check on it and meet the manager yet again. i dont think we made eye contact the first time...

i really want/need/got to havee it!!
lmao

and i guess my fastin thing has gone down the drain ill just minimize my talking until i get hurt again and crawl in my shell =(

w.e!!
im so un-gushying myself
i have no idea when the caring, loving understanding Nicole came from
but it also came with the materialistic, sensitive, procrastic shit to.


o no got to go.

lol
like how are you going to tell people to get themselves together and your the epitome of scattered-ness
???
reminds me =)
(myspae.com/na318)

and with that my entertainment of the day has retired itself.
so i shall retire to my strip of mattrass(ma -trass mon!) too.

its funny when i actually talk (aim) 10 people or more mom wants me off...
when i have noone she all mellow n shyttttt.
aughhh
sleep tight.
like a title wave...
(should i have done that, try to tie it in??)
DONT CARE BIOTCHH!
lmao

**fav show right now VIVA HOLLYWOOD!!

the warning

the warning;;



kk so the deal is i haven't had a phone in what feels like 3months
and in a sense i don't want one cause i feel tracked down;;



well same thing with this internet and comp thing.
like i sorta want to break it again
so i dont have to be clockinin or just feel attached to something soooo

meaningless..


so basically the warning is im fasting or w.e

and maybe in this sense when i come back on, ill have like a million comments or w.e


so basically im untouchable if you dont have my house #
and
in a way im trapped cause the internet is my music source

i dont listen to the radio

(hate georgia personalities)
but in a sense i guess ill live

cause w.o the comp phone or w.e i get creative on my own
having to comfort myself or be "in person" with whoever is entertaining me,


i know however this is going to be hard
because im gonna be wondering whos talkin to who, what is he/she doing

but truthfully ill get over it

cause in order to strengthn anything or friendship (or more) i have with you guys on (www)

i have to strengthm myself
(or w.e that means,, i guess ill figure that out , cause def got that from my sis breakin up with former hubby)
and now that shes going back to ny its gonna be even harder.
But i guess like Sam ill just recieve a more outgoing...interesting busy life
like the one i had in ny


cause to tell you the truth i do nothing
and thats basically why i have nothing to say..

so with that i part.



much love and animosity
see you in a couple of longgg hardddd weeks. lol

nik-%%%

visit the space (www.myspace.com/na318) so, "when i come back on, ill have like a million comments or w.e" will happen.
lol kk?
peacengrease


;;took a pic with me and the dress before i return it for a pair of skinny ymi gray jeansss. lol in love already. =]

deez woodz.

wowww.
how the pages have changed in a mere dreary (not literally) couple of days.

The little communication i have on the computer has shown so many people's true colors.
Its like i try to open up to people and they constantly shut me down...

SOooo.. thats the end i guess.
Accept of course the person who is always there for me even though all the details of my life don't touch thee ear. sigh*
And my friends here in the boondocks have been non-existent since my sister came, but i have to say thats partly my fault wanting to feel more isolated then i already feel.

My only vice is my music which i dosed myself in over the couple of days, but even the melancholy beats cant express my feelings so my pen meets my paper once again which seems like my feelings never stop flooding once they start... and my lil ol fingers never write fast enough..

But as it seems to be all going under a bright light illuminates in the darkness *
lol
no lie but it seems like everytime im about to like pack it up someone or something brightens my day.
It seems like the one thing i want back the most,, idk..
Cause i thought i solved my side of the puzzle and it seems like foreverrrr (but its been like 2-3 days) smh. My heads like a 24/7 clocker. like wtf?
who lives like thisss?
Why i never did relationships in the past. Like Mary J Blige's song (hurt again), about her seeing everything wrong in them so not wanting to put her foot in them or w.e (yeah same thing)

ughh well let me get back to this resume and change my profile song b4 i cry, (wtf?)





me and the goon walkin around SoNo, Georgia (yeah thats a real place =X)






anddddddd, the window of lighttt opennssss. lol '0=)'

i miss

im definetly missing my funky short crew haircuts..
sigh

and dreamm..
kk heres the deal i just like the songs

fast car

love your girl

ditch that nigga

his songs are good ringtones. lmaoo

smh how many days till im actually smiling when i type lol?

reel it in

lol wow. blogs got me in trouble over the past couple days in what seems like reoccurring events of the weirdest and craziest moments in my life.
so were gonna take it back to the basics.

if you dont know me, which noone does, tear* when i get hurt or whatever the case may be, i take it back to music (or sleeping) so ive been shutting it up and listening.
eff the clubs, movies or w.e the next couple of days,
my brain needs to marinate in the most compelling, vibrant, magnificant, new new shyt.


So here we are with Outcast, there were rumors they were back but heres just the song. Please listen and keep an ear out, they are one of the reasons i listen to music these days.



and there song (who dosent like Big boi?). o yes. lol lyrically wise is stupidly ridic. =P






Then there is Nikki Jean and ive def heard of her before, but didnt really listen. Hmmmm seems i have fallen across something.
Just listen! .. lol




Love lovee loveeEE ths videoo...





like no lie but the whole time i was starrin at her teeth. lmaoo =E
i wanna smile like that! ughhh






meanwhile i have a maJor headache that refuses to cease.










but thats kk. drama is seeking me out yet again. too sleep i run.
hip hop has saved my life.... yeaa bout that. lol
what do you say, im more of a r&bpopsoulfunkytechowannalaybackandsipalemonadenswattthebees kinda girl?

srry i posted videos twice. can never be too secure right?? =/ smh


gnite folks

wow april

i cant even hate on boys tryna talk to more than more than one girl.
cause first of all we're young

second i did it like a pro and still didnt give anything up.

third, i dont see whats wrong, honestly if you like/love all of them.

But that was the past and virtually ended when my kick passed on.
Thats probably why i had difficulty letting go, cause it was my phone and everything else communicator.

But idk since i let it go ive seen what boys were talkin bout when they talked to me.... im not gonna lie i did it w.e but thats not the kinda person i was so when i see people try to do it to me its like..... Ummm def not dumb.

And its like i keep saying just cut them off but my heart wont let me. and its not like im fully attached cause i can point out flaws like skyscrapers but something tells me not to. Soo its like having split ends and tryna rock a bob........ omg
It was fun doin it but it being done to you is def not kool. Its a stupid amount of drama and excess brain thinkn (which i do Not need) .

Listening to: Damaged, Danity Kane. lol


So now im here drinkn this pink lemonade in this warm weather, thinkn bout this dream i had....



Dream scene 1

I dont no how the dream went like which went first or last but to sum up what i got ..

1. This is the fourth or fifth dream i had where i had a baby and estranged husband whos trying to kill me and tried to find me

2. In this dream was people i loved and think or want to lovee....

3. Queens and Lithonia was mashed into one odd place.

4 I was on the run from husband, me, mom and tasha was on the run from............

yeah.. i have no clue but it was stupid funny

the dreams chaotic and as the day goes on i forget it more and more, aside for the tryna kill me part, but hopefully mom rents some movies, i fall asleep and dream about that.
sigh*



i realized ive done nothing with my life in georgia but grow old.
i plan to change that.

ugh tomorrow. lol
i def smell meatballs =)



o sweat and i was in zaxbys the other day (chicken joint) lmao
wit my sis from ny, so we was goin in on every1, it was pretty entertaining
and so we see these girls in shorts n heels n bad makeup n wayy to much jam on forehead
mind you it was 40 thunderstorm and everything,
so i was like whores,
she said " i need to be going where theyre going " (nik rolls eyes)
lol
and i felt bad so took it back,
cause im def tryna be nice w. no sarcasm this month.,...
yeah but then this man came behind them (when they were walking in) and paid for there food.
Then these two guys in the corner (my mom pointed one out to me and was like that talll one is cute for you nikki {puke on dressing} def atl meat) cameover and did theyre w.e hand thing idk hello i guess.
lol and then took the girls to sit down.
meanwhile me and my sis was just sitting there and you noe my mom felt dumb cause it was obvious they were doing an exchange of money and uhunn (womenly parts) so
that just shows you the kinds of dudes my mom attracks smh.
I wanted to say, "dont do it girl!" knowing full and well georgia has the highest concentrated percentage of african americans with aids and highest with people dont get tested... smhhhh.
so basically
umm i said it. lmbo

you only live once right?
then we got our food i looked one last time
the pimp looked at me n winked..
winked!!!
me n my sis started singing, "its hard out here for a pimp" and made an exit
lmao
most eventful zaxbys visit ever!!
oh and the chicken salad wasnt that bad either. lol

I wrote a blog in school but it got erased. lol

i got the victory. is the song of the day.
im so not into people on the phone who talk for hours.. and...um im not in the conversation..

yeah so thats it^^^ lol



its soo refreshing to be off.
but shes calling me back..
and my chores plan didnt work
so ima bout to get some pink lemonade and watch some fresh prince.







*till next time.
_nik.



o wait her she is... im out. lol

How it is: as of 2-27-08 lol a lil late./ playa chroniclaes* lol nah jk

Situation:
This whole predicament is crazy cause I'm definantly a no-drama-all-fun person, and ive been this way since birth. Now okay I look good, I take pride in what I wear etc, but Im also a down to Earth person which is why I make the best of friends. In situations like these however I fail to realize the importance of making my own decision and sticking with it.

[People names have changed for the benefit of me and my life]

Ryan Seacrest: is this boy I rarely paid attention to when I first met him, Like "blah who are you?" loti (laughing on the inside), that basically sums it up. But at this goddamned basketball game is when my feelings toward him changed. I dont know what it is but seeing a boy who can dress turns me the hell on. I mean. I dont know what else will but this problem....

[update, marchsumthn, the boy got expelled we dont talk anymore. dont matter wasnt really important. and im probably jumpin to the problem but he wanted to have sex and sweetie that wasnt gon never happen]

Taye Diggs: is probably the first boy (man) I clicked with so easily ad hellafast, like my God we would text 24/7 and not get tired of each other. It could be cause our birthdays are 2 days apart, but who knows. The thing is the distance and the nik-is officially-kikless is starting to hurt...

[update... =( ]

Henrietta, Georgia: is the typical pro.. high school athlete in school. Smart funny, witty. I swear hes the 300th's twin (looks a lil too) but the attraction is nowhere in the solar system to be found. Yea we made out on occasions but that was just me pushing myself not to miss a good thing. And about this necklace...

[update: he got me something for my bday too. woww ewww. he needs to be a friend pronto. idk]

* High School: is a place for me to be free, but mind you to have all the fun necessary. Thank God I associated myself with the right females to make it happen. I just hate drama! Like i've heard (and seen it) in every highschool situation (and even college 1's) and sure boys do have it too and maybe, i dont know just maybe its been searching for me since I moved into this new school...
**Oil!: The problem with Ryan is that he wants to, and i quote "pipe" me, not wife me. And if you know me, Im def not a pipe-y girl. Im the girl you give the gifts to (awww poor Henry) And no Im not just saying this (pipe) I heard it on a threeway with friend Jasmine. So today I deadass dropped him and laughed in his face when he cornered me to talk. Who did he think he was? He was no where near getting this golden treat. loti. He is a cool person Im not gonna take that away but he has some schemes that I had no idea about. But trully i applaud him for telling the truth........ to my friend.

[golden treat? wow but yea he had some bitchassness in him too. and i did talk to him after he stopped coming to school and then he wanted to get all James Bond and shyt and be on the low, so i stopped textn.]

This boy (man) Taye I really dont have any problems though he did hang up the phone yesterday (shaking my head). hes probably the closest I got into a only-talking relationship aside for 300. (sorry if it seems like im putting him on a pedestal but there arent any flaws in this predicament). The flaw however with the Taye and Nicole relationship is that (drumm roll) we have never ever met. So this is definetly a relationship that started on the internet. I mean Im def not scared to meet him I know hes not gonna be perfect and neither am I but we haven't given that impression. Its just that pounding rthymn in my head like if we meet and are fine with each other, whats next, is it going to die out, Re-light? Oh boy! Lets not get started on the goals thingamajig, thats a whole nother novel.

[my views on this paragraph are totally different now but whatever, let it be]

Alright Henry and his necklace, Football team, Track team (dont got a job or car like Ryan though) but hes certified sprung over me and I dont know why, I never tried to impress him. Apparently he likes my big head, the way i dress and my sarcasm? I dont hes pretty funky weird too but as a friend. His valentines day 14k(gold?) locket and marinade in front of the class...wow. He dosent seem like all he wants is sex because he could have Leshaea, Brittany or Quai Quai or whatever (loti) for that matter. But (smh) its not gonna happen anytime soon.

[this is why i need to write blogs when i feel em not months later. I still feel the same way about him though, He gave me a purse and curious george (inside joke) for my bday.]





Extra! Extra! Then there is religious kAy-seA =),, no not religious as in God but religiously there and when i need him (lol) Ima let him know were gonna stay friends (maybe for life). Cause he knows this now but hes such a flirtatious b#?!]. Hes so cool and funky fresh hes like a fresh obreath after livin in the sewer. Too bad hes in college or whatever and cant talk till like 12 in the morning. And sorry those 1500 extra minutes i used were prob on him.. and others. Cause I def never used 3000 minutes in my life.


Bobbielol. KK imagine Ludacris in your mind. With the ATL twists. There is Bobbie aka TimmieBoy. Dont ask but he has the whitest name I know. Okay hes another sex boy, but he claims he didnt want it or didnt approach me for sex (dont all men want sex?) he wanted a relationship. And let me tell you for the first hour he met me he would just stare,, between us fighting. (ah! good times) He claims he wanted to sex up lol my friend Taylor cause shes loose and she only got her numba cause he thought it was mine. He was dropped, Effin weedhead. Him and his brothers are hilarious on the phone though, comedy show i tell ya.

[update: i must have the honesty for all boys i meet cause they seem to tell me things id rather be deaf and ignorant to but w.e now that i know i def cant turn back, at least he aint pressure me into smokin]

Jasmine is the ride or die chick. ( I dont know about the dying yet. Shes madddd kool shes the one who did the threeway with ryan. Even though she did go an extra mile and say I havent had a relationship before. (whoa! What a stretch) she was spilling on the sides for a minute. The thing is my other friends definetly dont..... feel for her. SHe curses hellamuch for no reason and she'll play and be like............ you get the point and the rest of the posse dont go for that, and shes superr friendly and crazzzy with the boys. But other than my friends cutting her loose and attaching scotch tape in between us, shes kool and funny she really aint a prob right now. Did i tell you shes good at talking to boys?? But if it came down to Jasmine or oter friends... itd be other friends.

[ughh kk im neverrrrrrrrrrrrrr writing blogs like this. everrrrrrrr
and with that i end the letter to "myself" if you get to see it in your lifetime have fun. but omg. i gotta get ready if im leaving the house and ew its raining and ouch my head hurts]

Addicted.

Umm yea this was in my head.. so here it goes. :

Burning letters
captivate his rhythmic genes
his sculptic eyes
crease with the inept capability of humor.
His knees ran crooked
his heart bleed guilty doves.

-nik.



lol but anyway like my kicks bill is 699..... whos paying that?
smh aim wont be seeing me for a while. Idk im not even into sidekicks anymore.. its too big now. I really want to use my sis blackberry pearl. You noe the one she gave me months ago but i didnt want to use cause i was still stuck on the sidekick phase? smh it makes me sick. lol i am sick. i didn't even go to school today. Thanks to my lovely friend Ros Thanks! lol. Its funny cause i cant send texts but hellakids textin me, where are you, and i would have never known they cared.

And fashion show is today too but they can kick rocks cause i want to do it but they cant threaten the 20 models out of 100 that dont come anymore to show up or be cut. My health is way more important than being ghetto fab for one of there over-critizied under dramatical, cheap ass fashion show scene.

I have a question. This one is rather personal because its been going on for 20 years and probably only mom dad and my sis (blackberry pearl) knows. How do you love and hate someone at the same time? Like my mom paid for my dad twice to come down here and... do nothing well..... lol as far as im concerned. and complained more than half the time. The when i ask to go to Ny for w/e a weekend or such she dosent respond. Not even to scare anyone or myself but me and dad asked if im still coming in may and she got deadly silent. Like wth is that?? We were dropping my father off at the airport last night, ( and this will forever be in my mind, cause i was coughing up blood and watering tears and sniffling the whole time) and shes by his side the whole time, like a kid in the candy store. I mean it really has been 20 years and she got her first piece of jewelry from him 2 days ago. She complained the whole time we were at the airport when she wasnt joined at the hip with him and said.. and i quote " were like were leaving at 8:30",, and we didn't cause i suffered 30 more mins and she waited for him to get through scanning, watched him get searched or w/e ran thru security to put oil on him (thats cool, i guess) slobbered down for 5 min like teenagers in heat and looked back every 5 sec, and then i layed on the floor (mind you i still looked up to par in dress but i was tired as hell) Like i felt so uncared for and neglected.... Then she had the nerve to talk about him the whole way home,, and got lost in the process. ( i just plugged the ipod in and drifted in and out of sleep)


.... kk.. mayb that was a lil too personal but now you noe where im coming from... sigh*
Is my mom addicted?

the funny thing is i didnt noe i could answer calls when your bill was 700 i mean they did kick me off of everything else including aim. So i got like 20 calls and returned one of them.... the rest will figure it out i guess... smh This is definetly not a happy post. Mayb im justt addicted to solemn words that are enduring enuff to get me through the day? (like that huh?) lmbo.

pink fridays.

Yea, well its kinda funny cause i got my nails done that day and right after i took this pic i broke my nail coming down the stairs. lol
Well today was weird theres this thing i have when theres like blank spaces in my convos or even texts ill just type "lol" so beware. lol.... smh! its a freakin disease.
Today was so crazy like i really odee violated on this boy that supposedly likes me. lol and after i made him double over in agony.... he still walked me to class. which is weird cause if i was him i wuda puunched me in the boobs or something. i mean reflexes man. But thank god for boys who dont hit back. id be fighting everyday.

I was on the phone talking about the same situation which is the exact reason why i made a lovely pause when answering. lol (lovely?)
I mean if boys think they are soO much stronger than girls then they shudnt hit them. and if girls think they can beat a boy up (or noe this for A FACT,, like mwah) then more power to ya... right?
Im here jammin to shiny toy guns and watchin "john Q" and debating if i should go to the party. lol
If like everyone had powers that were equal in strength then the idea of me beating someone up wudnt b so violent right?
But face it ima lover notta fighter. ive never been ina fight in my life.
i could flirt to save my life and all of my cats, lol

But on a reality not maybe im not as hot as i think i am........
smh
i knowww wheres the self confidence etc.
but like all my guy friends or half of them,, and mayb the other half just wanna tell me,
they think my friend particulary*..(whoa) Beastie, party buddy, best friend atl edition is hot.
to make it short, shes my height, 5'6
lightskinned....
thick bottom (whats the other way to say it? lol)
and everything is pretty much like me... soO ummmm.
lol
like im always praising people like i love when people are self assured of themselves like even if i could pick out a few obvious flaws myself. so in response,, like what would i think of my confidence?
or myself for that matter?
i def cant change anything,,all the ambi (i heard rihanna used it odee when younger) and collard greens cant change who i am and will always be..soo y cant i be happy with my apperaance like eveyrone else is??
Ughh probably this dufus that should not be named cause hes a nin-cum-poop and retard and immature brat but def needs to lay off with the dark jokes. cause hes deeeefffffffff crispy i mean midnite.. like black coffee bean with NO cream.. just BLACK. and i see nothing wrong with this cause his skin complexion and defintion and all that shyt is tuff. cud you say whipped.??
and i really dont wanna pop his bubble cause he def wrote me a letter the other day... so y the nonsense?
is it enough i could be called pretty, sexy, different and not feeel it
then be called black and feel all of it??
like damn...... (rsmh!)
is BLACK REALLY ALL THAT BAD?
i really meant i wish black was royalty and light wasnt in my last post. its time for a change.. we gotta realize white just isnt right.
or mayb i just need to ... realizee.

fairyland.

kk ill be the first to tell you.
ima dreamer
thas basically all i do.
i get carried away sometimes with the traveling the world with lots of money, connections and lovers idk
its been crazy this week more sleepin then dreaming these nights thoe.
sleepin to me just seems so manual like breathing or brushing my teeth,
but dreaming.....
dreaming is like another world. where everything is your way and nothing is not.
the sun shines 12/7 and everyone is always on your side.
money and love is everywhere and flows like air only to b used by the needy. but money is just paper we wipe our butts with 100 dollar bills... so in away we never run out of toilet paper...
materialistic objects dont exist, everyone smiles and says "goodmorning" etc
when its night time,, like every night. noone needs a jacket and everyone wears their best (or in this case wear themselves) cause theres alwaaaysss a party and then movies at someone house then a sleepover where noone sleeps (take it how you wanna.. =P)
we have dance wars and everyone dresses like there in the 80's or like John Travolta... lmao yes and grease too,, even when we go to church.
theres only one church that everyone goes to meaning one paster and few bishops etc etc..
just so when you go to church you can stay there the whole day.. or weekend and not complain cause your seeing faces you havent ina while.
Also distance doesnt make the heart grow fonder we just do over time ((dang i hate that nonsense))..
theres unity like in the 70'z and peace and soul wherever you go.
i wudnt say smile... cause thats just corny and def not in my dreams either.

theres no cults
everlasting water and fruits and veggies! that everyone eats noones is anorexic everyone loves their shape and everyone else agrees.
everyone is selfassured and Project runway, csi miami and avatar play all day long.
cable and everything that comes with it show all day long for free. and there are an everlasting flow of movies, dr. pepper orange n grape soda and candy... Theres no acne everyone takes bool.. movements like clockwork ( did i really have to say that??) lol.
Everyone has a job they like and actually want to do and there are no bills or taxes etc.
there are still black white etc but instead the longer you stay in the sun (or can stay in the sun) you are admired cause everyone loves the sun (right??)
theres no myspace facebbok, xanga,myhood, etc.. none of that cause everyone meets in person or doesnt meet at all. You can travel from one side of the world in under an hour depending on how much you wanted to.
The people you liked liked you (i.e loved) and that was that. i mean theres people you like but lovers are lovers and theres only one out there for you (which is a good thing that we can travel under and hr)
there is no aids stds herpes, heat rabbies, rashes, discoloration, irritation
lol
were all smooth like baby bottoms and beautiful too each other.
we make up shows, there are no reality shows (meaning noone has 15 minutes of fame,, no srry no of that) only shows we use with out observant creative minds, act out, record and show for entertainment. there is no test or hw. we are all naturally intelligent and intuitive.
We type/write as fast as we think.
theres always something to talk about.
we gather by the fire every sunday night with our extended family and let the oldest of the group tell a tale... (like in africa!)
we have highways etc and the slowest you can go is 80. lol
the cheapest car is an infiniti or audi.
everyone makes music so there is an crazy amount to listen to for the rest of our life.
there are no pets all animals live free and happy.
no fake suntans or dyes, bleaches, razors, guns, nuclear weapons, global warming, aliens, fatal accidents,
but mind you life is nothing but boring.
theres no army etc unless you wanted to b a soilder for your country or anything else in that field cause there wud b noe wars..sooOo uMMmm
it snowed 3 feet every christmas and we didnt need presents to make us happy.
every place in the world is as entertaining as bk or queens and as warm as fiji, especially during the summer.. =]
everyone had a party for their bday so in a sense there is a party everyday somewhere.\
no astrologies or none of that. you either connected or you didnt.

but mayb this is why our dreams stay dreams and were stuck in this..... world
to tell the difference between the good bad and uglly.
i mean theres a reason for everything right??
i believe we all have our destiny and if mine is half day dreaming till i get there ill b happy with that,,


currently listening to - lil wayne..... and erykah badu, you got me. O=]

where theres no sky for my hopes to fly
or ground for my dreams to run along.
my tears float with the drizzle of happiness.
and my heart glows with the faint smell of childhood ambitions..

-nik

A day in the life of.

hola, another day another blog.

i was thinkin this morning what if we didnt have any hardships, problems or turmoil in oil life would we know and really comprehend what bliss and real happiness is??

like ay if i didnt ove out here. in this black desecrated forest. lmao would i really know how blessed and stressed i am? I think not. I mean im not spoiled or anything..... (i am) lmao.

okie next topic. boys or men... like ive been having so much difficulties.. and its mainly my fault cause im utterly bored much or mayb thats just the state of mind im in... but theres like no way in hell i would have done the things ive done two years ago. lol mayb i just needa hug?
But ive taking wise info from my biggieme who makes much sense and ive realized that i always seem the right thing to do but need some assurance. please dont ask me why im talkin in general. lol


but i gotta go. moms in beats mode again. =[

another day in the life......

one*

alrightyy.... soo umM first posts are usually nothing right?
idk
like how many of these thingies am i gonna do??
I definetly [def] odeee bit off of sameYeam on this one. [http://samwisetheeeebrave.blogspot.com/]
I have so many journals etc online, in books its ridiculous. smh

anyway,
"how was my day?" you ask.
ughh im startin to hate that question because everytime someone asks me i figured out noone really wants to know how your day was.
fine
and okay.. is like the regular and i guess in this case people want that.
Im just blubbering[?]...... lol because like im madd bored
its friday.
this girl keeps hitting me up tryna go to the movies knowing my mom wont let me drive
im waitin for somone important to hit me up
im bored.. yet again
damn
this is EXACTLY how people get in trouble.

listening to "le Disko" by SHiny TOy GUns.
thinking about love and when ima fall into a deep muddy passionate hole of one.*
liking the way number one* looks.
trying not to think about the amount of clothes i want for my birthday
waiting for my birthday to come around the corner finally, feels like i havent had it in years... been waitin for that day to say "im 16"
now thinkng about a sweet 16
lol



kk lets get to the nittiegrittie.
lol
ive just figured out that everytime i start to like/love [w/e!] someone i just get this feeling its not gonna work out and give up [trauma in my past, smh]
then i get bored or w/e and try to move on.
puttin myelf in this bullshyt {<

like sometimes i felt like my eyes have been opened to the world [in ny] and not even all the way yet just enough to see theres more out there and then held captive where people are tryna turn my views away from my goals and plans in life. Tryna reshape my life for theirs n shyt
secludng me n shyt
eluding me n shyt.
'i feel so blinded but yet openminded n shyt.

So on to future aspirations now... uMm idk
i wanna be a
journalist..... i think
a designner
[OMFG IF SHE HITS ME UP ONE MORE TIME]
the people that pick the fashions to put in stores.
a public rep person for major companies.
i wanna travel the world dont stay anywhere for more than 2 years cause the worlds ending and i wanna see the last of it....... [waahhht? im telling the truth, geez]
i dont noe if i wanna bring any kids into this cruel cruel world i guess i gotta see if im happy wiith myself first. =/
i wanna transform as a person inside n out,and always stay positive even when buildings are crashing on me[ ahh flashback 9/11, godforbid]
i want to be able to still dance [like in a community company or w/e] and dance in clubs also. lol
but i dont want to be one* of those old people tryin desperately to get their youth back.
thats one thing you DONT have to worry about. ill age with grace, more like my momz [horny asz lol jk]

Ughh mayb my next post will be less about myself yo. lol





But just a ques to leave off on....
If you could ensure that your children never have one experience that you have had, what would it be?