thee saddest post.

RIP Trevayne Cozart

wow, way too young.
whoaa
i just saw this boy the other day. =/
i wanted to talk to him but he past me and kept walking.


i didn't know much about him...

I did know he was chill, known and from Georgia'
He didn't seem to get in much trouble and now i feel so slow for not taking the time out to get to know him.

Not that there would be a difference in my sadness
A. Want to know someone but cant cause you waited too long and life is too short?
B. Know someone cherish them and have them taken away from you in a blink of an eye?

Not that i drink but if i did this would be the moment to do so.
Its crazy i never knew/spoke to anyone that passed before.
they say the best leave first**

live life n enjoy every moment,
please.

Fast

lets make this short cause moms coming home.
i miss textin ... my friend
school is tomorrow
i need to focus
and start reading my bible yet AGAIN
(when i neglected my phone i neglected my bible)


umm some picss

my friend is leaving 15th and left my house yesterday =(
** came out the womb myself so i can survive on my own** =/



me, bestie, dates hand =/.. her date is somewhere..

school n stuff,


why would they have the first day of school and senior pictures on the same day??????????
can anyone say ride??

pray for me*

fastinggg. cul8r. lol

Feeling ok?

i was sad yesterday now im coolin it. I used to be a text whore now my phone is dead and i just dont care... Sad to say everyone i need is here with me.
Everything else is FLUFF. Much WANTED fluff but its w.e
=)


thank GOD for besties, a bible and a pool to chillax.
Oh yeah and a car to drive. lol


hopefully ill find what im looking for.
Well im off to take a shower so here are some pics chix.

8am.

i cooked breakfast for my mom this morning. Could she not tell something was wrong? Or am i becoming a better actress? I didnt even put some food on the side for myself. (not hungry these past couple of days) O wells. I should be over this loving-affection giving syndrome in the next 2-3 days.

my fridge is packed these days, no room for extras!




school starts in 6 days.

Error: Message Could Not Be Sent, Try Again Later.

My mind runs around in forwarded messages complaining about the forwardees that reply. My fingers dangling off my board hopelessly waiting for a meaningful message but noone sends. My heart quivers with the thoughts of losing feeling, going numb, dumb, blinded, with that just smoked a blunt feeling.

Techno spirited but absentminded because I'm trying not to cry over the convos we could of had since two in the morn. my skin vibrates with sympathy with being a temptation unprescribed for and thus unwanted and unnecessary. When can i find my three am replyer, without female forwarders or in this case concubine texters, and after three years of comfort and relief im not fasted for like a bad drug...

They say life has its ups and downs like a roller coaster, a mistaken sent message, or even worse a love note with the wrong name. I must label this a down's down, labeled chill cause worse would be a resender in this weather when we all know you got the message.

Corona n lime*

Make me =) for a while.

enjoy-

mydrivethru


corona n lime


dont be shy



she loves everybody


finding my way back


before you were my man


i need you bad


more than friends

Available Symphony

okay so we all make mistakes.
we all know were making the mistake when were making it ... well half the time.

My question is
"why cant God talk to us when he doesnt want us to make the mistake?"
or maybe he does
so we know were nothing but human
or maybe im justifying my actions...

We only live right
once
and "Match Point"
has inspired me to be lucky then...
whatever the outcome
lucky is more of a 50/50 chance "like whether if the ball when it hits the net will bounce back to you or go over"

To only think I thought i was perfect.
Now im used
feel like ive been thru it all but i know thats only half.
im a tool used to make waves through this world.
for what i have no idea and i think thats the point.
How big the wave makes me ponder..
a lost doll is more attractive than one that sits in place.

My head is closed for service my fingers move on their own
based on my swinging emotions..
swinging on gorilla bars
laced with acid and razor sharp spikes
but i dont mind
my mind is not in it.
a natural high
to capture my facial expressions and replace them with strung out notes of a melodic saxophone

Why conjure up the spirit of innocence??
So it can be used to and run around until its old torn and black?
Why not just deal with what you have now.
its good for now
lol
your not crying
just tearing so its not that bad
remember what mom said , "people have it much worse"

So close your eyes
open your arms and hike up your pants
Secret
and take a shower_
you smell

//awesome REMI NICOLE

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=101582978

punkish retro pop

i gotta thing for this chick
and its NOT because she has my name lol,
maybe cause shes on AMY WINEHOUSE'S page????










whatever the case.
i like it funkyness
lol

well im on the phone
NOT going to see step brothers today but on the phone with my friend who has =/
lol
jealousy is bad!!!!!

coffeeCAKES

MAYBE IF_

if i was a little lighter id get more comments?
more attention?
breaks?

if i was scandalous id have more views?
friends?
events to go to?

if i was richer, id have more clothes?
things to do throughout the day?
no limits?



ha ha

This would change who i was inside out.. Right?
Is it really better to be lighter a reflection of man's want for a lighter (whiter) woman or the way you are and a unique one at that.

To be listened to and respected for your words, wisdom and thoughts.. however modern they are. For people to say,"Who is that girl??" and mean it for my inward-to-outward demeanor instead of an outward appearance that can easily diminish...

To be on the edge of right, slip up and be slipped into the wrong hands like a bad drug. Influence those in a wrong full manner, to be taken out of a good place in life because noone can handle you, not even yourself. Patience and an antidote is needed but noone is there to feed it..
For more money to attract the wrong things and bring the wrong crowds, by the time i blink my money is gone, along with family, friends, my relationship with God and my future,,,

I'm made this way for a reason I believe, but maybe the reason I have no idea what it is is to be blinded and make waves where waves are needed instead of going straight there and when the job is done so is my existence here...

(i hope im making sense to someone other than myself)

My life is so...
precious
different
stable
authentic
paced
and ready for me to live every second of it.

So here i am.
Upgrade my well-being.

7/27/08

well....
today was a good day =)








African fair:: new bracelet (FIRST PICTURE)

THEE WHOLEE DAY
i love embracing culture
even if it means hand-crafted leather one of a kind $275 shoulder bag with metal hoop for arm (soo delicious, yumm)


well im on the phone (oo lala) so scadadel
later_

Blackberry, my cat and a medium caramel latte*

nik_ says!!!!!

okay so finally off of the phone and away on aim so i can think!!
ughh
(hold on BOTH phones are ringing)
cool
well

These past couple of days here in Georgia have been rather boring.. but now that ive opened my mind to things i can do im open to MILLION ZILLION possibilities and ENDLESS time.
Starting with shopping and hence conquering my fashion abilities =)
Ive purchased boat shoes which i absolutely love, recommended by the infamous (Daniel) (wearing them tonight for THE DARK KNIGHT) and though im sure im the last person to watch it who CARES. lol
better late then ever.
NEXT
i also brought some pumps....



andddd OO LA lA!

some pumps they are. Ive been inspired from http://www.classicpumps.com/

and just pumps style in general.

easily paired with skirts, skinny jeans or poufy shorts im sure to have fun with them the rest of the summer into the school year. =)
***Remind me to post my sketch of poufy shorts for you, the viewers. (im sure ive solved the problem of shorts that are too short (moms) and for your flat bootied mama's) lol

Cant wait to make the first pair for myself!!!!

Topic 2.

Turban headbands or even like mine (chain) headbands are SOOOOO cool =)
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=acc%5Fhat%5Fhairgoods&product%5Fid=1052619110&Page=2#
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=acc%5Fhat%5Fhairgoods&product%5Fid=1052167868&Page=2

perfect for bad hair days or just regular days where you want your hair pulled back, and also a little girlier then the regular hats and berets.

HERES THE ONE I MADE =)
I used an old gold chain and elastic for the front. (the back thoe you cant see i used scraps of denim for the ends for an urban twist)*



fishy face_




soo YAYy to headbands!!

Topic 3

This summer has been... different,

Ive been to New York for a month which is definetly NOT long enough.

july 4th ^^





NEWYORK included the good the bad and down right ugly but ive grown from it and it definetly makes me the person i am today so to change something wouldnt be the same or as great of a learning experience...


Then South Carolina........

mom makes me do this pose whenever i go to the beach
its okay....LAUGH; lol


back to georgia!!!





chocolate n vanilla!!!!!

since ive been to this house (not quite HOME, and it probably will never be 10 MONTHS!!)


JAZMINE SULLIVAN_




i loooveeee the SONG, LYRICS and most recently VIDEO, just cause its so chill, normal and something i WONT get irritated by.

so congrats JAZMINE youve been added to my playlist. =)
I KNOWWW its not just me but do i hear a ALICIA KEYS??


i loveee live performances just to compare it to what these ARTIST make in the studio..


soo heres a liveeeee****



SHES 20????
wah wah
i could listen to her, Chrisette Michele and Amy Winehouse all day =)




Topic 4
my school SMH!!!!!!!

listen when the lady says "dont pull people hair lemme tell ya"
lmbooo








READ A BOOK, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.


onto greater news
i knowww im still thinkn about the school video too but it happens
(10 MONTHS****)
Just catching up:


Did you happen to see the CNN Presents: Black in America???

This is a must see people!!!!!!!!!. they should be having repeats, check youtube.com* and a feedback from well known Black overachievers TONIGHT> please watch and keep and ear out for more cultured news.




Topic 4

Reading the bible:
would it be a stress to bring it with me to read?? thats the only way i get the majority of my reading done. But however it gets done it needs to.
HAVE YOU READ YOUR BIBLE LATELY???
ITS like 'DEGRASSI' and 'DAYS OF OUR LIVES IN' ONE.
REAl life stories for us to learn from and spread to others. =)

i dont mind the task.

well im off!!!

(eyebrows, chinese food, THE DARK KNIGHT w. friends) FINALLY



have a great day
COMMENTS
and keep posted!


adventures of nik_

You never knew.

so i definetly hesitated writing this for some odd reason....

But here it goes.

My feelings and emotions are wrapped in this yarn ball write now... Maybe not as complicated because there are only a few Valid feelings.

Dumb
Sad
Anxious
Angry


lol .. Yeah so the first one [Dumb] I don't so much feel Dumb but ignorant. I want to learn so much in so little time [God, My career, relationships, people in general] and have no idea where to start... Reading the bible has only made me thirstier for the knowledge and wisdom i have yet to possess.

SAD- Not so much as leaving New York because it was time to go and like i said before i do NOT want to be greedy with what I want. Its more or less what... I left there.
Open strings, Unfinished ideas, Unplanned plans, Undefined relationships... Ill get over it. lol I have before, like starting the cycle over again EXACTLY a year from this week... i believe.
My mother actually admitted that she could have waited 2 years to make the big move which would have helped me out a lot... But thats just being selffish. I know she needed a change.. So me being who i am to her.. i guess i needed one too.

ANXIETY

[just a note.. im getting angry because im hearing the pussy.. cat and it odeeeeeeeeed stratched the heck out of my arms and hand this morning....Should i skin it or box it China Panda?]

But um anxiety, mainly because I KNOW i can make a change and already started with little projects around the house, such as making little jackets and pants for myself and enlarging the collage for my newly painted purple room. Hopefully also becoming a PR for this DJ i met [out of all places] a gas station. lol But its like...ugh you have to live in Georgia to understand so in case your not lets move on... Anxious for school to start in a couple weeks. Find out who my friends are, am i going to fall into the same pattern [please no]. HAVE TO JOIN THE YEARBOOK COMMITTEE and try out for dance ensemble again ANDDDD become tennis captain.. ANDDD maintain a 4.0 ANDDD get/maintain a job, volunteer in my career choice and scrutinize all the scholarships available for me. "Dont forget to stay in touch, Nikki" smh.... Is my friend...... going to get me this phone... and if he is will i be the same person i was when i had the sidekick last. [Lord i REALLY hope not] but just because it is the phone it is... It would be mighty convenient. Lastly from my experiences at daddy's house..am i going to bring some of those umm extracurricular activities back home with me. Hopefully with my praying and such it will be a one time kinda thing.

so
moving on.,

ANGRY- o boy am i angry. lol The last time [don't flinch] being honest i hit my mom with a tennis ball from across the tennis court.. I cant describe it in words. No way am i near crying but i would lock myself in a room and break a nail.. which yay great i did today... SOooOo off to church I go in a couple of hours to pray about the same things that I prayed about when i was 13. lol WOW. really fell of track here, havent i?

On another note. today we got new windows. Your eyes cannot feast on such a feast with grainy views. soooo i love my room with its windows that greet me with a reflection of what i put into view. =]


Plans;
Pray
Dance until my feet give out [literally]
Yoga it for a few...
Block this boy OMFreakinnnngGosh. [btw, the pics u get are the ONLY ones on myspace. I AM NOT LOLA BUNNY, neither do i take pix like her...nemore ever]
Mellow it out with thee Pod.
Snore
Church
Ignore this room until Mon NIGHT, [think i can make it????.... well efff u!.. lol nah implayin]

so im sleepy now.. and def going off topic..
But if your reading this SAVED or NOT. SOMEone loves you and he is MIGHTY.
Also like Tupac, Keep your head up.

0=]

half-way through.

incomplete neccesity...

Denying the possible. Making my self unheard, Lowering my standards. Realizing that i Can be everything i want to be or nothing at all/ Visions, stories, movies all played out in my brain's own movie theatre that dissapear when the sun greets my weary eyes. I dont know why i dream of things so realistic but only occur in my dreams, like i can make them happen because duh.. nothing is unmanegeable but my actions show differ in purpose..
Listening to that sweet voice in my head that keeps me sane, but by sane i mean questioning my motives and actions and denying the circumstances that underly in them. Walking in my own blood leaving my drunken footprints but not feeling the stab wound that punctures it and makes me weak. leak. i laugh at the thought of being discovered but not at the fact that i cover it well or what is uncovered, no but the fact at who will do it..
Who will uncover the mask that hides the heroine... or????
What more could i Be
I strive to be more open more postive and intuitive
but i get sidetracked like a strong case of ADD comes and hits me square in the head.


But i like him
ugh track of subject
he is AWESOME
=]
big screen something to look forward to and this is all he gets.

NEXT

So I havent been doing anything with my life but when i get back to the BOONDOCKS
definetly stepping my game up in the public relations department.
I have to be myself regardless right
so go all out or go home.
kk this is it for now. Hopefully I write one before i leave.

Im going to miss him,
them
and us
whatever that means

New York was fun while it lasted but 'ims' travel farther.
Will thee old flame spark again...
probably not
since the flame has moved to another burning bush.
I havent visited all my friends and i feel bad but I wouldnt be able to anyway... sooo 0=]
I move too fast and I see that now.
"Speeding only gets you ticket in the long run"
niice .

Slow down baby your moving to fast. you got your hands in the air and your feet on the gas.
I Shake my head at the thought of my former motives
Seriously focusing on God my future and career. =]
Cause those are the only things that will take me the farthest.
Thee only rhythm in my life---- my obsession with this thing called love...

music for musiq

I knew she was a brunette. Lol
I like it love it
My whitish side of me.
kissed a girl



your so gay





long shot
once you like one you like them all. =]
well I did




omg flashback of t h e Y E A R!!!

i was 3 and giddy 0=]






Song of the year (last year)
0=] good times
I love her sound, vibe, aura


[liveee]


Adele Amy and Duffy =] help me sleep at night.
song in my head all day
cause I feel like im going through the motions

****

****

*************

****

************






On rotate on the ipod =]

when tears fall blind

photos//

i left my emotions in Gerogia

-ouch? feelings are for wimps ive always wanted to say that but not feel it always falling in traps not setting it not saying ive been an emotional reck with boys.. umm no thats why i dont do serious relationships but in peoples relations to me in general not trying to make more friends not caring its been heavy since i came to new york for the summer especially since mom didnt think about postponing my trip until people actually get out of school. see but im okie with that cause i dont care- kinda just nervous trying to fit everyone in my schedule (no lie) physically saying be here or ill be there etc. hurts.. my head so advil is my friend these days maybe thats why my emotions are being clouded by my medicated states. idk one way or another i realized i know even less than the less i know so im just sittin on sand waiting for a drop of rain smh kk my tiger striped nails (that i myself created) are irratating the hell out of me tapping against the keyboard and my half dressed picture on myspace got me more private mundane messages that are along the line "waddup sexci" smh than actual comments so im off the computer and hopefully a nap before dad over here tells me to wash more dishes or (animated) sis comes home and borrows more of my clothes she cant fit and jewelry i wont see again damnn. really left my emotions there huh?? -HEAVYGETAWAY

and yesterday was nice even though i know it wont happen again

lol especially with me leaving again but thats not that bad is it?

back to l.i to do absolutely nothing but hibernate and then georgia...GEORGIA.

nope, rings no bells.

helmethead&adoptedchild_

whatd u think? lol im bangin my grows out. lol (growin my bangs out)
o cheaa, def no make-up for summer cause its HOTTTT ^^^(nat-tu-ral)^^^
85 degress is not what it was 5 years ago. =0

meaningless..

i was sitting on my bed one day. Rudely awoken my my mom probably for something dumb and unreasonable, but when i was sitting there all these thoughts rammed them selfs into my head as big as it is. =]

And i got a headache.

But thats besides the point, I faced my mirror (which is adjacent) to my bed and asked myself, what have i done with my life? No seriously, I know what i haven't done, no kids, sex, drugs, gangs (lol me in a gang?? ) bad grades or w.e. But what have i done to leave my mark on the world, When I'm gone what will change? What will stay the same? Am I truly meaningless? Sure, some tears will fall but don't we have the same reaction when our favorite show ends or our pet dies? How do we truly measure our worth as a human being and more importantly what steps could I take that are efficient in striving to make a difference in this brutally-honest world...

Yeah that headache lasted for a minute..

But throughout the duration of the day I wondered would I be doing community service other than credits and would I have enough energy to change the world or more importantly the community i live in. If it was that easy wouldn't it have been done before, wouldn't i have heard of people who tried? Or is EVERYONE lazy, idle and uncaring??
What could I contribute?
My sarcastic remarks?
Ignorant and childish rants of insanity and neediness...
Do people really need to hear another teenage story to complicate and explain their lifes?


Well after hours of pondering and weighing the pros and cons of my existence
Ive decided I'm here for a reason only God knows and not me.. for a reason you see
For the lives we change if we knew the path we were to take would be much less than if we had no idea where to go
like blind mice in a cage, how much of a difference would we make, where would we travel and how many lives would we influence?
We wouldn't know until we threw on our kick em boots strap on our work belt and hit the road.
isn't it...
Life is like a box of chocolates.. You never know what your going to get?
Well yeah that sums up my rude awakening.

title wave.

lmao
its so weird cause i notice things i normally wouldn't since being in this broadcast journalism class

but both videos start off with linking shots then zoom in to the main focus.

**** the fact is the paris, tokyo video is newER, but song is sOoooo stupid old right now
lmao that was def on my page last year

and this has nothing to do with me being so music influenced... =X


ughh mom was playing Otis Redding in the car over and over and over and overrrrrr.
lol




On more curent news...

MY SISTER WENT BACK TO NEW YORK today!!
i feel like she left me like a piece of luggage (irony)
since i was ... lmaoo

but um yeah i ordered more clothes from wherever else? (forever21 145dinero) until h&m openes up. lol

and i also put in papers for forever and bakers the other day
then went back to check on it and meet the manager yet again. i dont think we made eye contact the first time...

i really want/need/got to havee it!!
lmao

and i guess my fastin thing has gone down the drain ill just minimize my talking until i get hurt again and crawl in my shell =(

w.e!!
im so un-gushying myself
i have no idea when the caring, loving understanding Nicole came from
but it also came with the materialistic, sensitive, procrastic shit to.


o no got to go.

lol
like how are you going to tell people to get themselves together and your the epitome of scattered-ness
???
reminds me =)
(myspae.com/na318)

and with that my entertainment of the day has retired itself.
so i shall retire to my strip of mattrass(ma -trass mon!) too.

its funny when i actually talk (aim) 10 people or more mom wants me off...
when i have noone she all mellow n shyttttt.
aughhh
sleep tight.
like a title wave...
(should i have done that, try to tie it in??)
DONT CARE BIOTCHH!
lmao

**fav show right now VIVA HOLLYWOOD!!

the warning

the warning;;



kk so the deal is i haven't had a phone in what feels like 3months
and in a sense i don't want one cause i feel tracked down;;



well same thing with this internet and comp thing.
like i sorta want to break it again
so i dont have to be clockinin or just feel attached to something soooo

meaningless..


so basically the warning is im fasting or w.e

and maybe in this sense when i come back on, ill have like a million comments or w.e


so basically im untouchable if you dont have my house #
and
in a way im trapped cause the internet is my music source

i dont listen to the radio

(hate georgia personalities)
but in a sense i guess ill live

cause w.o the comp phone or w.e i get creative on my own
having to comfort myself or be "in person" with whoever is entertaining me,


i know however this is going to be hard
because im gonna be wondering whos talkin to who, what is he/she doing

but truthfully ill get over it

cause in order to strengthn anything or friendship (or more) i have with you guys on (www)

i have to strengthm myself
(or w.e that means,, i guess ill figure that out , cause def got that from my sis breakin up with former hubby)
and now that shes going back to ny its gonna be even harder.
But i guess like Sam ill just recieve a more outgoing...interesting busy life
like the one i had in ny


cause to tell you the truth i do nothing
and thats basically why i have nothing to say..

so with that i part.



much love and animosity
see you in a couple of longgg hardddd weeks. lol

nik-%%%

visit the space (www.myspace.com/na318) so, "when i come back on, ill have like a million comments or w.e" will happen.
lol kk?
peacengrease


;;took a pic with me and the dress before i return it for a pair of skinny ymi gray jeansss. lol in love already. =]

deez woodz.

wowww.
how the pages have changed in a mere dreary (not literally) couple of days.

The little communication i have on the computer has shown so many people's true colors.
Its like i try to open up to people and they constantly shut me down...

SOooo.. thats the end i guess.
Accept of course the person who is always there for me even though all the details of my life don't touch thee ear. sigh*
And my friends here in the boondocks have been non-existent since my sister came, but i have to say thats partly my fault wanting to feel more isolated then i already feel.

My only vice is my music which i dosed myself in over the couple of days, but even the melancholy beats cant express my feelings so my pen meets my paper once again which seems like my feelings never stop flooding once they start... and my lil ol fingers never write fast enough..

But as it seems to be all going under a bright light illuminates in the darkness *
lol
no lie but it seems like everytime im about to like pack it up someone or something brightens my day.
It seems like the one thing i want back the most,, idk..
Cause i thought i solved my side of the puzzle and it seems like foreverrrr (but its been like 2-3 days) smh. My heads like a 24/7 clocker. like wtf?
who lives like thisss?
Why i never did relationships in the past. Like Mary J Blige's song (hurt again), about her seeing everything wrong in them so not wanting to put her foot in them or w.e (yeah same thing)

ughh well let me get back to this resume and change my profile song b4 i cry, (wtf?)





me and the goon walkin around SoNo, Georgia (yeah thats a real place =X)






anddddddd, the window of lighttt opennssss. lol '0=)'

i miss

im definetly missing my funky short crew haircuts..
sigh

and dreamm..
kk heres the deal i just like the songs

fast car

love your girl

ditch that nigga

his songs are good ringtones. lmaoo

smh how many days till im actually smiling when i type lol?

reel it in

lol wow. blogs got me in trouble over the past couple days in what seems like reoccurring events of the weirdest and craziest moments in my life.
so were gonna take it back to the basics.

if you dont know me, which noone does, tear* when i get hurt or whatever the case may be, i take it back to music (or sleeping) so ive been shutting it up and listening.
eff the clubs, movies or w.e the next couple of days,
my brain needs to marinate in the most compelling, vibrant, magnificant, new new shyt.


So here we are with Outcast, there were rumors they were back but heres just the song. Please listen and keep an ear out, they are one of the reasons i listen to music these days.



and there song (who dosent like Big boi?). o yes. lol lyrically wise is stupidly ridic. =P






Then there is Nikki Jean and ive def heard of her before, but didnt really listen. Hmmmm seems i have fallen across something.
Just listen! .. lol




Love lovee loveeEE ths videoo...





like no lie but the whole time i was starrin at her teeth. lmaoo =E
i wanna smile like that! ughhh






meanwhile i have a maJor headache that refuses to cease.










but thats kk. drama is seeking me out yet again. too sleep i run.
hip hop has saved my life.... yeaa bout that. lol
what do you say, im more of a r&bpopsoulfunkytechowannalaybackandsipalemonadenswattthebees kinda girl?

srry i posted videos twice. can never be too secure right?? =/ smh


gnite folks

wow april

i cant even hate on boys tryna talk to more than more than one girl.
cause first of all we're young

second i did it like a pro and still didnt give anything up.

third, i dont see whats wrong, honestly if you like/love all of them.

But that was the past and virtually ended when my kick passed on.
Thats probably why i had difficulty letting go, cause it was my phone and everything else communicator.

But idk since i let it go ive seen what boys were talkin bout when they talked to me.... im not gonna lie i did it w.e but thats not the kinda person i was so when i see people try to do it to me its like..... Ummm def not dumb.

And its like i keep saying just cut them off but my heart wont let me. and its not like im fully attached cause i can point out flaws like skyscrapers but something tells me not to. Soo its like having split ends and tryna rock a bob........ omg
It was fun doin it but it being done to you is def not kool. Its a stupid amount of drama and excess brain thinkn (which i do Not need) .

Listening to: Damaged, Danity Kane. lol


So now im here drinkn this pink lemonade in this warm weather, thinkn bout this dream i had....



Dream scene 1

I dont no how the dream went like which went first or last but to sum up what i got ..

1. This is the fourth or fifth dream i had where i had a baby and estranged husband whos trying to kill me and tried to find me

2. In this dream was people i loved and think or want to lovee....

3. Queens and Lithonia was mashed into one odd place.

4 I was on the run from husband, me, mom and tasha was on the run from............

yeah.. i have no clue but it was stupid funny

the dreams chaotic and as the day goes on i forget it more and more, aside for the tryna kill me part, but hopefully mom rents some movies, i fall asleep and dream about that.
sigh*



i realized ive done nothing with my life in georgia but grow old.
i plan to change that.

ugh tomorrow. lol
i def smell meatballs =)



o sweat and i was in zaxbys the other day (chicken joint) lmao
wit my sis from ny, so we was goin in on every1, it was pretty entertaining
and so we see these girls in shorts n heels n bad makeup n wayy to much jam on forehead
mind you it was 40 thunderstorm and everything,
so i was like whores,
she said " i need to be going where theyre going " (nik rolls eyes)
lol
and i felt bad so took it back,
cause im def tryna be nice w. no sarcasm this month.,...
yeah but then this man came behind them (when they were walking in) and paid for there food.
Then these two guys in the corner (my mom pointed one out to me and was like that talll one is cute for you nikki {puke on dressing} def atl meat) cameover and did theyre w.e hand thing idk hello i guess.
lol and then took the girls to sit down.
meanwhile me and my sis was just sitting there and you noe my mom felt dumb cause it was obvious they were doing an exchange of money and uhunn (womenly parts) so
that just shows you the kinds of dudes my mom attracks smh.
I wanted to say, "dont do it girl!" knowing full and well georgia has the highest concentrated percentage of african americans with aids and highest with people dont get tested... smhhhh.
so basically
umm i said it. lmbo

you only live once right?
then we got our food i looked one last time
the pimp looked at me n winked..
winked!!!
me n my sis started singing, "its hard out here for a pimp" and made an exit
lmao
most eventful zaxbys visit ever!!
oh and the chicken salad wasnt that bad either. lol

I wrote a blog in school but it got erased. lol

i got the victory. is the song of the day.
im so not into people on the phone who talk for hours.. and...um im not in the conversation..

yeah so thats it^^^ lol



its soo refreshing to be off.
but shes calling me back..
and my chores plan didnt work
so ima bout to get some pink lemonade and watch some fresh prince.







*till next time.
_nik.



o wait her she is... im out. lol